


Reap

by orphan_account



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: (and not Chandler), Alpha Carl, Alpha Negan, Carl is based on an imagined grown up Comic Carl, M/M, Older Carl, Omega Rick, Tagging for underage just in case but this Carl is supposed to be legal y'all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-05-19 04:50:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14866932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: CHAPTER FIFTEEN IS AN AUTHOR'S NOTE (sorry)Rick will do anything for his boy. Unfortunately, when Rick goes into heat, he finds out Carl will do anything for him too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> In this AU after the prison Carl and Rick never find their people. They don't know Judith is alive. Carl still has both his eyes...I guess...(no idea why that makes me sad lol).

 

 

 

Suppressants.

They're the bane of Rick's existence. He thinks he can do without, if he needs to. Can suffer, and _he will suffer_ , through it.

He's never gone through a heat before but he's heard the stories. Brutal things, like gang rapes and being stretched too wide on whatever objects catch a passersby's fancy. Blatant disregard for human dignity, human life.

It's terrifying.

He doesn't think it will happen. Scratch that - he thinks it's more likely to happen in the New World but he can't think about that or sweat begins to bead on his forehead and his face goes shocky. Carl will notice if it happens too often.

He's pretty sure the boy doesn't notice they're low. And if _only_ Carl had been a beta, Rick had been making out okay until the last year when he was forced to split everything he'd scavenged. Having Carl go off suppressants isn't an option. Rick had nearly had a heart attack when Carl had presented one day, Alpha pheromones thick and heavy in the air. He'd whisked the boy off as soon as it'd happened, pressed the tiny pills into his son's palm.

His Alpha son.

It's seems vital to keep it from being spoken, even in his own thoughts.

Alphas are violent and the pack of betas they're travelling with would sooner get rid of them if they knew.

They don't know Rick is an omega, can't smell it outside of heat. Even Carl doesn't know.

So - siphoning off three quarters of his pills into Carl's share isn't really a sacrifice. It's just - it'll only give him three days. Carl only has two weeks.

If he somehow survives his heat - and it plays on repeat in his head _How am I going to hide it_ \- it should be at least a month before the next one. It seems like a curse.

Even Alphas only rut once a year without suppressants.

 

 

Thankfully the group settles in a neighbourhood. They plan to stay the month, so they can harvest the community garden that's grown wild and move on. Rick finds a small hamlet about an hour out from where he's nestled Carl in a small cottage with a white picket fence.

_You're a man now Carl._

And Rick had said that ages ago but it's only become truer, more pronounced. It's the Alpha in the boy no doubt. He's still lithe, but the childishness has left his limbs. He's taller than Rick and very nearly broader.

At seventeen Rick was still scrawny and gawky, but he supposes it's just different.

He meets Carl on his way back to the cottage, and the boy has a rifle slung over his shoulder. The sheriff's hat, worn and familiar, hangs down on his back.

Sometimes Rick thinks he wouldn't recognize the man Carl has become save for that hat.

"Dad."

"Carl, what are you doing out this way?" The anxiety doesn't crush his voice but it's a near thing. He doesn't want Carl to come looking for him and _see_ him. Thinks this definitely shouldn't be the last place Carl remembers finding him.

And it has to be that way, Rick has to leave a note and disappear or he knows Carl won't let him.

They always go on runs together. Have, since they lost Judith.

Carl walks him back, ever vigilant, like a watch dog at Rick's side.

"I don't like you going out alone." Is what he says before they bed down for the night in the living room across from each other.

Rick hears the sullen teenager in the way Carl says it and he nearly chuckles. It makes Rick reach across and ruffle the boy's hair, makes him lean over and kiss his forehead.

 

 

 

He makes Carl a meal the next day. The boy watches him intensely while he cooks.

"You really should come over here and learn how to make this Carl." Even though he says it, he already knows what Carl's going to say.

"I have you to do that for me."

Rick doesn't respond. Thinks it'd be nice for Carl to learn so he could make it when Rick is _gone_ but somehow he can never bring himself to point it out.

Rick feels the wall of heat at his back before he hears Carl. The boy isn't touching him but he's so close the ghost of his breath caresses Rick's ear and makes him shiver.

"Nothing is going to happen to you."

 

 

 

He leaves at dawn on the third day. He already feels it. An unnatural warmth licking its way up his body. He forcibly tamps it down and it sticks somewhere between arousal and frustration.

He gets to his destination and hunkers down. Boards everything up. Then he waits.

Tries, in vain, not to touch himself. He can hear high whines leaving his throat.

It's only a matter of time before he opens his pants and strokes himself. Only a matter of time after that and he's all damp with slick.

He doesn't touch where he wants to touch, _and it isn't even full blown yet_ , as he thinks of when he read a news article where an omega had impaled themselves on a light bulb in desperation and it shattered.

He grips his knees and rocks. Feels tears of pure frustration run down his face.

It's not even midday when Carl shows up.

 

 

 

The sad fact of it is that although Carl had to have knocked a couple of boards loose in order to get inside Rick hadn't heard him.

Hadn't known he was there until the boy was standing in front of him.

And the first thing he'd thought when boots came into his line of vision was _Please Mister. Please impale me on your cock. I'm all empty inside._

When his eyes reach Carl's face the thought replays in his mind and he feels _sick_. Disgusted with himself.

Carl crouches down, his eyes search Rick's face.

He strokes a tear away and Rick gasps. Jerks back minutely.

"I'm gonna take care of you." Carl says, in his oh-so-serious voice and Rick feels like he's dying inside.

"Y-you can't be here Carl." The words aren't steady, they're panted out.

Carl ignores it, takes the rest of him in then. His gaze catches on Rick's crotch and Rick can't help but look down too. There is slick _everywhere_. And Rick's member is flushed and hard, leaking. Carl runs a finger from tip to root and then back again.

Rick bites his lip so hard it bleeds.

Carl runs a thumb across that too.

"It's okay, you can scream. I'll take care of any walkers." Their eyes lock and it shouldn't be happening, Rick knows this.

But it's like he's got permission or something because when Carl presses a cool palm to his chest to push him over and reaches down between his legs to brush at his entrance he _wails_. His legs clamp closed on Carl's arm.

"D-don't." he whimpers out.

Carl slowly disengages.

"Leave Carl." Rick says weakly. But Carl just shakes his head. Settles himself in across from Rick as if to watch.

" _Carl_." Rick says, exasperatedly. Only it's too breathless and strung out to be exasperated.

"Wanna make sure you don't hurt yourself." The boy explains and Rick's chest expands at the thought.

Still, Carl _can't_ stay.

Restating the fact doesn't help. The boy is silent and his eyes are intently on Rick from across the room.

It's about that moment Rick realizes he still hasn't covered himself. He sits up and he goes to do it - he does - only, when his hands graze against his member his hips shoot forward. Something sticks in his throat and he gurgles.

He tries to bring himself back under control but it's no use. His legs spread of their own volition, so wide they hurt and he's looking at Carl who's looking at -

Rick feels himself throb, Carl's breathing gets noticeably heavier.

"Can I?" Carl asks then, meets his eyes, "I promise I won't - I'm not here to take advantage. It'll only be enough to help you through."

Rick doesn't feel himself nod. But when Carl crawls over and up between his legs it's so good he can hardly stand it. He wants Carl in him _now_.

He shakes the thought off, or tries to until Carl rests a fingertip against his rim and everything else flies from his mind. He pushes back onto it shyly. Like he isn't laid out with his legs spread wide.

"It's feels _so good_." Rick pants. The fingertip breaches him then and Rick slithers down on it. Feels every millimeter. " _Carl!_ "

"What do you need?" Carl asks. His face is so close, pupils blown so Rick can barely even see the color of the iris.

"P-put it in me. I need - _I need_ \- " Rick sobs, suddenly helplessly frustrated again.

Carl adds a second finger. It's good but it's not what he _needs_.

"Put your - Carl your.." Rick squirms on his fingers, can't bring himself to say the words. 

"Can't do that." Carl says, lazily twisting his fingers. "I'll touch you, talk dirty, but... I can't do that."

It feels, irrationally, like a slap to the face. Rick reels.

"I-I'll-I'll _make_ you then." Rick says and reaches for Carl's belt. Carl has him on his belly in the next second - flips him over like it's nothing and presses into him _hard_ \- and Rick arches, tries to connect. " _Carl Carl Carl_ " he sobs.

" _Rick_." Carl parrots back lowly into his ear, hand tight on his neck. "Behave yourself."

Rick stills, tries not to breath.

The fingers are back then. When Carl wedges a third one in Rick comes hard, collapses into a pool of his own cum. Carl pulls him up so they're resting back to chest. He doesn't stop. Rests his fingers on the rim, rubs them around before plunging in shallowly.

"Deeper." Rick whines, begins to squirm again. His slick is soaking Carl's jeans. His front is wet and Carl brings a hand around to smear it around on Rick.

"You like that?" Carl asks.

" _Yes_." Rick says and words spill forth thoughtlessly. It's the heat talking. "Please fuck me. Oh, _please please_. Please Carl, fuck your Daddy. I need - I need - "

"Fuck my Daddy?" Carl repeats breathless, jabs his fingers in hard and keeps them there. "Why should I do the dirty talking when you're better at it? Tell me what else you want."

Rick can feel Carl's erection through his jeans, grinds down.

"I'd do anything for you." Rick howls. Tilts his hips up and rides Carl's fingers. "Want-w-want you to put your h-hands on me."

"Where do you want my hands?"

"Everywhere." Rick says and it feels true so he says it again. Carl's eyes darkly watch him rock on the fingers buried in his ass. "Any way you want Carl. I-I'll take it any way you - and I'll try to be good. If I - if you - c-can I put it in my mouth?"

Carl's hips jump at that and so Rick persists.

" _Please Carl._ Let me put it in my mouth."

Carl looks hesitant.

"Dad, this isn't...Fuck, just no. This is for you. Not - "

And Rick can see the problem. Carl is just _so good_.

"Carl," he starts and rubs against him, "I want it. I want it. Please let me. _Please_. _Please_ let me suck it."

He doesn't say yes or no. But when Rick slides out of his lap to his knees Carl spreads his legs a little to make room for him.

And Rick wants to wipe that anxiety off of Carl's face.

Their eyes meet as Rick leans forward to kiss it - chastely, all over, until he doesn't. Until his kisses start to get a little sloppy, a little open mouthed. The cockhead slips into his mouth on one particularly open mouthed kiss and Carl shoves it to the back of his throat. He chokes hard, sputters, but Carl doesn't pull out. Grabs Rick's head and holds it there with bruising force.

"Fuck, s-sorry just, g-gimme a minute." Carl says, suddenly flushed but he doesn't let Rick pull back. His hands tighten and loosen in Rick's hair, push and pull a little until he's almost bobbing Rick's head for him. Saliva gathers at the corners of Rick's lips and spills over.

Carl suddenly lets go and tips his head back, covers his eyes with a hand. 

And Rick can't help it. The heat is making him mindless, making him act out things he'd never do in a million years.

"Carl" he says softly like he's going to comfort him. He doesn't, instead he gets up and leans over the boy, is in his lap.

And Carl doesn't realize until it's too late anyway. Rick perches himself above Carl, grabs Carl's dick and shoves himself onto it as fast as he can. It slickly slides into him, parts his ass. Feels _huge_.

"Feel so good in me Carl." Rick whimpers. And Carl still has an arm slung over his eyes.

Rick pulls it away but Carl's eyes are shut. His teeth are clenched.

It hits Rick like a hard thump to the chest. He's done something wrong.

He doesn't know what.

"C-Carl" he stutters, hips slowing to a stop.

Carl's hands come up and grip his hips then.

Something in the quality of his voice must be different because Carl looks at him. His expression makes Rick feel like someone's tore something out of his chest.

"I-I-" Rick stutters uselessly but Carl shushes him.

"It's too late now." Carl says instead, pushes Rick's hair back behind his ear. "It's okay. It's going to be okay."

 

 

 

The aftermath nearly destroys him but Carl is there. Sprawled bone tired on the floor and so Rick can't.

Instead he pushes himself up and he's halfway across the room before Carl gets up and catches him. Rick didn't even realize he was falling. Doesn't remember...everything.

He remembers enough.

The memories make him shaky, his arms tremble as Carl helps him to the floor.

"It's okay, it's okay." Carl murmurs into his hair. Let's Rick cry and paw at him.

"w-why'd you _let_ me?" Rick stutters out and he knows it's not fair, blaming the victim and Carl had only wanted to help him.

Carl pushes him back gently from his shoulder but before Rick can recoil Carl firmly grasps both of Rick's shoulders.

"It's the other way around." Carl says, eyes dark and serious.

"That's - you didn't _want_ -" Rick continues.

Carl presses into him them, hugs him tight. Whispers low and dangerous into his ear.

"Oh I wanted you all right. Want me to prove it? I'll fuck you right here, right through the fucking floor. Just say the word."

Rick stills at that, pulls back to read the lie in Carl's eyes. But it isn't there.

"C-Carl." The word is soft between them. Carl breaks his gaze first.

"I thought letting you go into heat would be less dangerous than me going into rut."

"...letting..." Rick sputters. _Carl knew._ It seems inconceivable.

"I should tell you right now that I'm not losing you." Carl doesn't turn to face him as he says it.

"What?" Rick sputters stupidly. Again.

Carl does turn to him then.

"I screwed up. I know that. But I'm not losing you. Not over this. Not over anything under the sky." He must see the confusion on Rick's face, waits for Rick to meet his eyes before he continues, resolute and steely,

"Run, and I'll chase you down _Rick_."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carl's Rut Approaches

 

 

 

 

 

Carl has a week and there aren't enough suppressants.

He's glad, at least, that they've gotten the initial... _fuck_ out of the way. Tingles chase their way up and down his spine whenever he thinks about it, whenever he frames it like that. Vulgar and crude, dominating and vicious.

They have a week to prepare. Carl's been preparing since he presented. Knows how dangerous it can get.

He just needs to get Rick to accept it.

He consoles himself with the fact Alpha's only rut once a year - and all the fucking suppressants in the _world_ are set to expire in the next six months anyway.

In the back of his mind, Carl regrets he can't hold off his rut forever, would be happy to. Would be happy to service Rick once a month until he permeated Rick's every waking moment.

 

 

Rick startles from his place at the fire, burns red to the tips of his ears. It's been a week since Rick's heat and the man hasn't looked at him after that day, talks over him like he'll break if he hears the sound of Carl's voice.

"I made you dinner."

Carl wants to bait him, wants to _tease_ but he doesn't.

His Dad is having a hard time.

He hasn't run though, as if Carl would let him, but Carl's surprised he hasn't tried.

There is only one thing in this world that Carl owns, that he needs. It's sitting right in front of him, tucking its hands into the pockets of its jacket like it's cold.

They're out in the open. It's not ideal. They'd returned, after Rick's heat, to find all the Beta's dead. They're surviving now, and Rick keeps looking for suppressants - Carl thinks water is more important. Carl also thinks Rick keeps them moving simply because he finds it easier to ignore Carl.

"Sit with me." Carl says and as soon as the first syllable leaves his mouth Rick begins to talk over him.

"Think I'm going to turn in early."

Rick moves to get in his sleeping bag but Carl stops him. Blocks him off with his body.

Rick clenches his jaw sourly at that. " _Move_ Carl."

He pushes Rick flat on his back.

He's run it through in his mind a thousand times over, he needs to get Rick _to listen_.

He hovers over him, hand across his throat like a warning and Rick stills at it, goes limp.

"C-Carl" he chokes out before falling silent.

"My rut's in a week."

"W-we'll find you medicine. We'll-" Rick's struggling not to meet his eyes.

"I need some time to prepare you before that." Carl spits it out. Wonders idly how Rick will take that. He's already blushing, already warring against shame.

"Pr-prepare me Carl?"

If they had a safe room, maybe, or something like chains to hold Carl. But they don't. They barely have time. Carl leans forward and lets his breath flow heavily into Rick's ear.

"Need time to stretch you out so you can take me. So I don't hurt you."

Something like a whimper escapes Rick's mouth at that.

Carl reaches down and presses a palm to Rick's erection through his jeans.

He doesn't want to scare Rick but Rick needs some practice at taking it rough too.

His hands are pushed away and Rick's voice sounds pained but he breathes out a little 'no'.

 

 

 

Rick doesn't come around the next day either, shrugs off Carl's hand from where it rests on his arm before they go to bed.

 

 

 

"Stop this." Carl finally says a day before. He needs to put an end to it. Promised himself he'd give Rick until today.

"Carl - that's - we're not. We're not doing that." Rick says, faintly.

Rick is two feet away, head hung. He runs a hand raggedly through his curls.

Rick's frozen as Carl circles around him. Draws close to Rick's back. He knows the gesture is familiar when Rick closes his eyes and a little whine escapes his mouth.

"You want it, don't you?" Carl asks.

It's nature. Carl is his _Alpha_. There is no going back.

He puts his hands on Rick's hips, who gasps and twitches back.

"You know," Carl drawls unhurriedly, "I didn't mean to be so rough. But you were just so _desperate_ for me, weren't you? So thirsty for it you just couldn't help yourself. "

Rick's eyes do meet his then, outraged and pained.

Rick is listening, _finally_.

"I don't want to hurt you." Carl says, " _Please_ let me get you ready."

The thing of it is - even if Rick says no, Carl's going to do it anyway. Has to.

Rick says no.

 

 

He waits until Rick's asleep. Starts slow and soft. Soothes the body under him. Rubs slow circles, whisks Rick's clothes away like a thief in the night.

It can't stay that innocent of course. It's not possible.

Carl tells himself it'll be better if he does this. Rut is too unpredictable. Too violent.

It's inevitable he'll hurt him.

Still, getting Rick ready, shouldn't affect him like this. Give him such a wanton possessive thrill.

Carl is poised above Rick, muscles trembling, about to push into him when Rick wakes up.

Rick begins to squirm and Carl puts a stop to that right quick. Holds his hips down. Rick heaves out a heavy breath at that. Looks straight into Carl's eyes and down to his soul.

It _hurts_.

"You can run." Carl says suddenly, gives his _permission_. Pulls away achingly slow.

"Go." he says again when Rick just lays there.

Rick doesn't, so Carl gathers his things. He heads out before dawn.

 

 

It's like something itching inside him, trying to escape out of his skin. Something big and consuming.

It makes him feel disoriented. He beds down at a police outpost, of all things.

Knows Rick followed him. Knew he would.

Wonders if he'll go outside and get him or if Rick will come of his own volition.

Turns out it's both.

It's just approaching twilight when Rick hesitantly knocks open the door. Carl is waiting on the other side, watching with dark eyes. Rick flinches back as if he didn't expect to find him so quickly.

"I-I came to - " Rick stutters out and Carl can tell when his fear overcomes him. He draws back, gets out a "Carl..I...I _can't._ "

He lets Rick pull away, stumble backwards out the door and retreat.

Carl counts to thirty.

It only takes fifteen seconds to catch up and another fifteen to drag Rick back.

It's all encompassing then, and Carl nearly loses his damn mind.

Every small show of hesitance, or resistance, from Rick is met with a brutal shake stemming from Carl's strong grip on Rick's collar.

He tosses Rick down inside, reigns himself in, pulls the clothes off of the babbling mess on the floor.

He doesn't even register the words. Doesn't register anything but the cold, desperate fear Rick is exuding.

Hopelessly, he feels _pleased_.

Immediately, he starts to get a little rough.

"it-it's okay." Rick says then - hesitantly, quietly. Reaches up to brush Carl's hair to the side. "I love you Carl."

Carl groans, leans down and leaves a vicious bite mark on Rick's throat. Rick yelps, stiffens.

" _Dad._ " he says, didn't mean to say, when he spreads Rick's legs and finally fucks in.

Carl's so _on edge_ that's basically all it takes.

 

 

It gets really bad.

Rick looks away and Carl smacks him hard, fingers curling roughly into his jaw, jerking Rick's pretty face up.

"Keep your _fucking_ eyes on me." Carl snarls and Rick whimpers.

"Carl Carl" he whimpers, tries to soothe and it just makes Carl _angrier._

 _He's_ the one in control.

He bends Rick's leg up, puts it over his shoulder.

Rick gasps loudly when Carl pounds in.

"You tryna run from me?" Carl growls lowly in this throat.

"N-no." Rick gasps out, torn at the edges.

 

 

 

He fucks him so hard, every way he can think of.

Rick's exhausted, tries to crawl away. Carl's got boundless energy. Pulls the man into his lap and bounces him like a rag doll.

"Pl-please Carl." Rick says, but he doesn't pull away.

It's an obvious plea to stop but Carl just _can't_. The drive is too strong.

He doesn't let Rick up for what feels like hours. Until Rick's an exhausted mess. Bruised and worn down.

Carl shudders out orgasm after orgasm into him.

Rick tries not to feel it. Carl can see it in the way he resists, bites his lip, and tries to remain emotionless.

It's all for naught though. Because Carl still masters him, makes him gasp and come and call out Carl's name. The sickly shame on Rick's face afterward is something Carl can't _stand_.

It makes him aggressive. More so.

Rick's going to be feeling his impression for weeks.

 

 

Carl feels it winding down and that's when panic sets in.

He feels like he hasn't gotten _enough_.

It's a cruel, blind thought brought on by rut. One that Carl doesn't second guess.

Carl tugs him over with a hard grip on his hair from where Rick is lying boneless and unseeing.

"I have an idea." He says, wants to see his release on Rick's face, on his throat, in his sweet sweat dampened curly hair.

The insane hunger isn't so bad now that Carl can't wait a little to get what he wants.

"Touch yourself." Carl instructs. Rick's hands fumble clumsily between his legs, begin to pull mechanically. 

When Carl reaches down and lends a hand Rick arches, makes a noise in his throat. Carl guides Rick's hands into a rhythm. Rick goes but then stops, like he knows Carl will be displeased if he comes all over himself.

"Come." Carl says, after an agonizing minute in which Rick obeys.

At Carl's command he does. And Carl's lazily pleased with how fast Rick's been trained. 

His own release hits Rick across his mouth, stripes up his cheek and gets lost in his hair.

"You know," Carl says, "I haven't had your mouth yet."

It's as good as Carl remembers. 

"Good boy." Carl pets his hair.

When he's about to come he pushes Rick back, thumbs Rick's mouth open. Comes all over his face, loses a couple drops that settle on Rick's tongue where he swallows them down unthinkingly.

 

 

Rick's too dehydrated for anymore crying. He shivers though, whenever Carl draws near and Carl hates it. Rick's expression is blank, dazed. And Carl has to cart him around. Carl finds them water, another day and they'd be dead. He tips the bottle for Rick and Rick gulps it down, pukes it up.

Carl rubs his back.

"I'm gonna take care of you."

Still, it's days before Rick is in okay shape.

There's no use saying sorry. Even Rick has to know Carl doesn't regret it - not nearly enough for what's called for anyway. It must be the Alpha in him. Carl recognizes that and as much as he hates it on paper, it doesn't change how he feels.

It's two weeks until Rick's next heat. There isn't a word for how far Carl has fallen - oh, wait, he knows one - _damnation_.

He comes back from scavenging one day though and finds a fire, finds a pot full of food. Rick is _cooking_ , for _him_.

Rick turns at his approach, looks him in the eye and all his vulnerabilities are laid out before Carl. _For_ Carl.

"You-" Rick pulls himself up short, continues, "You looked sad."

Carl stumbles and falls in his frenzied rush to get to Rick. He lands at his feet, crawls up his body desperately and places a kiss on his forehead.

" _Dad-_ " the word hurts to speak, cracks in the middle and Rick pulls back a little from him, rubs absentmindedly at his mouth. " _Rick_."

"I-it's going to go cold." Rick says, ladles the soup into a container and hands it to Carl. Eyes him a little nervously.

"I'm gonna take care of you." Carl says.

Rick nods.

"Okay."

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

 

 

Rick should have let Carl prepare him.

And he knows this when it's been a week and Carl looks at him one morning, turns to the side and pukes.

He's coming down.

 _Finally_. Finally. It's been a week since Carl's rut. And the residuals would never had lasted that long if Rick hadn't been _family_. The thought makes his stomach roll queasily.

Carl's been petting into him each night. Hovers over him protectively like he doesn't realize what he's doing. Manhandles him roughly.

Rick rubs Carl's back from where he's hunched over and Carl shakes him off one minute, turns to grasp him hard the next.

" _Rick_."

"I know Carl."

If he'd let Carl get him ready - because the outcome was always going to be the same no matter how far Rick's in denial - then Carl wouldn't be so _sad_.

"It wasn't your fault." Rick chokes out.

It's just how it is.

Rick got off easy. He knows that. _Knows_ it's a testament to Carl's love for him. Can think of more cases than he has fingers that he worked that didn't turn out alright. Carl didn't kill him, didn't irreparably damage him, or cut something off.

Rick shivers when he remembers a news story of an Omega caught by two Alphas in rut, how they'd _divided_ him amongst themselves and one of them had taken his head.

"Dad." Carl says again weakly and Rick tightens his hold.

 

 

"How can anyone be good if..." Carl asks him that night, "if we're all like _this._ "

Rick instinctively knows what he means. Shrugs.

"It's just nature."

"I...I can't accept that."

"Carl just because...it doesn't make you good or bad."

"I hurt you. I liked it. I still like it."

"C-carl." Rick doesn't know what to say about that. It's a natural reaction, for an Alpha.

"I get hard thinking about it."

The silence stretches between them.

"How did they do it in the old world? Or was it always like this?"

"Drugs." Rick answers, "They helped make the Alpha more docile, more relaxed."

"What kind of drugs?"

"Doesn't matter. They're all gone now."

 

 

He doesn't expect things to be the same.

Even before Carl presented as an Alpha, after Judith....Carl was never going to be the same.

Tears start to water in Rick's eyes whenever he thinks about it, so he doesn't think about it.

Carl keeps his distance. Only, whenever Rick looks to him he's already watching.

They have a week before Rick's next heat.

Rick worries it isn't a good idea, or the right thing to do, but he thinks maybe they should _prepare_.

It isn't easy for Rick to think about.

None of it is easy.

He likes to think it isn't exactly easy for Carl either.

 

 

"Carl." He chokes out the day before.

Carl's wrapped in a blanket. His hair on the left side sticks up at an odd angle and Rick feels his heart clench.

"Rick." Carl says, voice confident and a little alarmed, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I-it's just that y-you know. Tomorrow is..."

"Your heat." Carl frowns as he says it. Looks in Rick's eyes, gaze steely, "I'm going to take care of you."

Rick looks away at that, down at his feet. He can't say it while looking at him.

"I was thinking we could - that we could prepare. L-like how you wanted to with - " He cuts himself off, no doubt Carl gets the picture.

When he finally chances a glance up Carl is smiling softly and a little crookedly at him.

"You know, I knew you were an Omega. I don't know how. I just knew. Your personality maybe."

Rick ducks his head again.

"You sound like an adult Carl."

"I should hope so." He says back.

The boy doesn't wear his hat these days.

 

 

Rick stands in front of the bed they've found. Knows tomorrow - and possibly tonight - he's going to be fucked down into it by his own son.

Carl comes in and stares where Rick's eyes are glued unseeing.

"We don't _have_ to - " Carl says. "It's not as dangerous as - "

"I want to." Rick cuts him off.

Because it's always going to be just the two of them. Rick wants to find a group but everyone keeps _dying._

Carl looks at him, frowns, "Don't lie about this."

"I-I'm not lying." Whatever Carl is searching his eyes for he must find.

"We can stop anytime you want."

Carl starts taking his clothes off. Pauses curiously to see if Rick will follow. He does.

Rick feels bare, strung out.

"What do you like?" Carl asks. That Carl is asking him _that_ hits him like a stone wall. Rick has to fight down the heat that rises in his cheeks. He thought they'd just - not that he'd have to _talk_ about it.

"A-anything's fine."

"Rick." Carl says seriously.

"I like everything you do." His cheeks burn to say it.

"You gotta be more specific." Carl says like he doesn't believe him.

He should believe him. It's true. Rick hates it about himself, is ashamed of it, but it's true. It's just nature.

"I-c-can I..." _Can I put it in my mouth?_ Only he can't say that. And his mouth begins to water just from the thought of that heavy thing against his tongue.

Rick rubs against his mouth.

"You said...you liked my mouth." Rick tries. Carl stares.

"Say it if you want it." The ease with which Carl wields his dominance cows Rick, makes him feel shivery.

Rick bites his lip and he feels a ting of arousal shoot through him when Carl follows the movement.

He's silent, though.

Rick makes a distressed sound in his throat, he wants to obey he just doesn't know if he can do it.

Carl approaches him then, gets a hand under his chin to tilt his face up and kisses him. It's better. Rick forces himself to melt, and soon his eyes flutter shut of their own volition and his knees go weak. He gasps against Carl's mouth and clings to him so he doesn't fall down. Carl maneuvers them to the bed, follows Rick down so he's lying on top.

They kiss for what seems like forever. Carl controls the pace lazily. Alternating between flicking his tongue in and swiping at Rick's lower lip. They kiss until Rick's mouth is sore and that makes him think of the last time his mouth was sore.

" _Carl_ " he groans out.

They're both hard. Rick feels lost in the sensations. Is grateful he doesn't have to _think_ about it.

"Tell me what you want." Carl whispers lowly in his ear.

Rick squirms in frustration. "I-I want-"

He's not even in heat yet and he feels _so_...

"Carl." He says weakly.

"You can't?" Carl asks. "That's okay. Just do what you want, I'll follow your lead."

Rick pushes Carl back softly at that. Doesn't mean for it to seem shy.

Carl sits on the edge of the bed. He's waiting on Rick - who gets up, face burning and kneels between Carl's legs.

"Oh." Carl says, the little noise shocked.

He splays his legs wider for Rick.

Rick thinks about just stuffing it all in his mouth at once like how _Carl_ \- and the thought makes him quiver. Carl mistakes it.

"We don't have to." he says again.

Rick's whole face is heated. He doesn't look at Carl - _can't_. But he takes the head into his mouth, moans when he does, and twirls his tongue around it. It's not more than an inch inside his mouth. He hollows his cheeks out. He sucks it in with a slow steady pressure, inch after inch until he can nestle his nose into Carl's pubic hair.

Carl's breathing fast, heavy.

Rick has Carl as far deep as he can get him. He opens his mouth a little wider and sticks out his tongue.

The unexpected swipe of it makes Carl groan.

"Oh _fuck_." he says softly.

Rick breathes through his nose. Can feel the spit start to gather in his mouth. He wants to make those sounds again. Those filthy wet, sloshy sounds.

He bobs his head slowly, Carl starts to fidget, makes an abortive motion to grasp Rick's hair. Rick wishes he would.

"Fuck." Carl curses, shifts, then shifts again like he can't get comfortable.

Rick's pace is slow and steady, even. When he thinks he finally has enough spit he fucks his face on Carl's dick _hard_. Fast.

Carl comes down with his throat without warning. With barely more than a grunt. Rick pulls off so he can catch some of it on the back of his tongue, taste it.

He feels wanton and slutty when he looks up at Carl then. Wishes he had the energy to hate himself.

 

 

When Rick's finally begging for it - and they'd gone to sleep afterward and Rick hadn't even made it the whole night, had woken up all slick - Carl doesn't tease.

He splits Rick open on his cock as Rick loudly whines for it.

Rick doesn't have any problems vocalizing what he wants then.

 

 

 

Rick feels like he's being torn apart sometimes. Between who he should be and who he is.

He doesn't think about it. Carl tries to touch him afterwards and he shuts him out. Can tell the boy - _his_ boy - is disappointed, had thought they were making progress.

"We need to find a group." Rick says.

Carl could go Alpha on him but he doesn't. Looks at him stiffly and nods.

"You can't run forever." Carl says.

And Rick thinks that's rich.

Carl says, "Don't do this to yourself." quieter.

They always go on runs together but this time Rick tells Carl he's going alone.

He acts out because he's fucked everything up. The situation is fucked up and he shouldn't have let it happen - should have found some way to stop it in the first place.

Everything feels too late, as if he's stepped back in time to save a loved one and missed it by a nanosecond.

It's too late, most of all, because Rick is in _love_. With how Carl looks at him, how he touches him, comforts him, whispers dirty things into his ear. The crinkle of his smile and his breathless huffing laughs.

So Rick is in love.

And that puts all the blame, squarely on him.

 

 

There's a reason Rick doesn't go on runs without Carl. They tend to go wrong.

And when Rick had said they needed to find a group, he was thinking of a group of _betas_.

Rick tumbles out of the underbrush, knocks into a pair of black boots.

A big, dark man towers over him, mouth curled into a sneer. His black hair is slicked back and his dark eyes are alight with something like amusement.

Rick doesn't know how he knows that the man's an Alpha, he just does.

"Well, _Hello_ there." The man purrs.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Here's Negan

 

 

 

There's other men, a _lot_ of other men. Rick can feel the pinprick sensation of sweat on the back of his neck as they begin to gather around. He thinks he stammers.

"Uh uh," The man teases, pushes Rick back to his knees when he tries to get up with a heavy palm to his shoulder, "Don't get up there Bright Boy. You look good on your knees."

"W-what?" Rick chokes out.

"And he speaks!" The man says, theatrically swinging his arms out and addressing his men.

He crouches down, and their faces are so close then that Rick tries to wretch back but the man puts a hand on the back of his neck to keep him still. Looks deeply into his eyes.

"Test him. I gotta _feeling_."

Someone comes forward at that, pricks Rick with something sharp. He can't help the inhale of breath and the small movement that carries him forward. Their breaths mingle and it's unnerving how the man doesn't break his gaze, is focused with a laser like intensity.

"Omega." A man says from behind Rick, and he sounds bored.

The man chuckles, deep and raspy. "What's your name?"

"Rick." He says it, doesn't want to, but he says it in case they do kill him. In case Carl never finds the body but finds the story and _knows_.

"Hi Rick, I'm Negan."

The man - Negan - gets up at that. The strong lines of his body look solid and powerful against the high noon sun.

"Now. It just so happens to be your good fortune," Negan continues, "that I'm in the market for a male omega."

"wh...what?" Rick says again, dumbly.

"Fuck, you really are a little slow, ain't you? Now here's the deal, and I don't offer it to _everyone_. In fact, most people I come across? They get absorbed into the faceless sea that is _Negan_ \- nevermind if they want to or not. Omegas. Omegas get fucked. Alphas get killed. There's only one fucking Alpha here and that's me."

Rick starts trembling halfway through.

"Aw shit, guys - look at this!" Negan is talking to his men, gesturing at Rick, "fucking princess here is shaking like a leaf."

He laughs heartily before he once again bends down in front of Rick.

"Did you think that meant I was gonna fuck _you_?" he asks. "My dick is a fucking privilege thank you very fucking much. Six omega wives on different heat cycles. Why would I want some broken down little papaw twice their age? I'm batting six for six, all the ladies want this Alpha dick. Need it. We have an _arrangement_."

"T-then why did you - " Rick bites the words off, knows he's in no position to be _angry_.

"Most of the male omegas are gone now. You know. _Rough treatment_. Fuck, we bring in a fuckton of suppressants each haul but none of them are good past five months. What I'm getting at is that I'm in such a position that I don't want to fuck any of my wives to death. I tend to get single minded during rut. That's where you come in."

Rick frowns, takes in the fact that there's at least twenty armed men. They all seem to be betas.

"You have suppressants?" Rick says instead.

The man shakes his head at him, wolfish grin on his face that makes Rick's heart stutter in fear. Something dead in his eyes.

"Aw, Sweetheart. I'm not offering. And besides, I'm sure you'll survive it. Male omega's tend to be _sturdier._ What I am offering is a dick to ride - if I feel you've been good enough - during your time of the month. And safety, security. I'll put you up, feed you, clothe you. Not a wife, of course. Not a fucking husband either. Concubine I guess. You'll be at the head of the community."

Community. It catches Rick's attention.

"I have an Alpha." Rick bites out. "I don't need you."

"Really? I doubt that'll last long. Some yoohoo helps you through your heat and you omegas go all googly eyed. You think he won't tear you the fuck apart when his rut comes? With me, I'm offering Grade A fucking medical support afterwards. Can't get much better than that."

The man actually looks pleased with himself.

"Actually, we've already been through his rut." Rick says. And a part of him stirs with pride for Carl. For the boy's restraint.

Negan looks startled then. Any hint of amusement drops from his face.

"Don't fucking lie to me." He gets down again, gets in Rick's space. Exhales lowly in his ear, "We Alphas are all the same. We just wanna rip you limb from limb and lick the blood off our fingers."

Rick feels a chill run down his spine and zing back up. He swallows heavily, knows there's a bead of sweat rolling down his face.

"Of course, if you say no. Well, fuck, I mean I don't fucking know then. I thought it was a pretty good deal. I suppose I could always lock you up and synchronize you so we hit at the same time. Take my boys here and hunt your Alpha."

"No!" Rick shakes his head rapidly back and forth. His heart seizes at the thought of Carl being _hunted_.

Negan's dark gaze lingers on him. His expressions is almost lazy, half lidded. But it seems false, like underneath he is a snake waiting to strike.

"Your Alpha really go through rut with you?" He asks.

There's something in the way Negan says it, a consideration.

Rick nods.

"You know why I kill Alphas Rick?" The question is rhetorical, Rick doesn't answer, "Because they are a fucking threat to the community. A threat to my pretty omega wives and a threat to my fucking dominance. We're not gonna have any problems like that from your Alpha are we?"

"N-no."

"Of course you knew I wasn't gonna let you just walk off. You're saving a life Ricky boy. I tell ya what, you and your Alpha come join us. He fucks the shit out of you during heat. I won't touch you. When my rut comes - " Negan whistles, twirls his fingers in the air "and then you can go back to your Alpha. Of course - he touches one hair on my wives' head during his rut - "

Negan makes a little gun with his fingers and a blast noise.

Rick has trouble forming the words.

"That won't be a problem." He chokes out.

"Good." Negan pulls Rick up to stand. "Lead the way."

"I-if you hurt him." Rick begins but the man holds up a hand and his voice dies out.

"I don't like Alphas. But a Deal's a deal. I know you don't know me from Adam, but do you really have a choice?"

"Hurt him, and you won't get what you want either." Rick says shortly.

"Or what? You'll kill yourself?" The man rolls his eyes. Stops to actually look at Rick. "Holy _fuck_ , you actually would. Must be some Alpha to have you panting over his dick like you're permanently in fucking heat."

Rick lowers his eyes, finds he can't do it after all. Can't lead them to Carl.

It doesn't matter because that's about the time Carl finds them.

He takes out two of Negan's men before they get a hold of him.

"Wait! _Wait!_ " Rick is screaming as they put him on his knees.

Negan's snarling, blood spattered up the side of his face from the backsplash of his man.

" _This_ is your fucking Alpha? It's a fucking kid."

" _Please_. _Please_." Rick intones. "W-we had a deal."

"That was before this little serial killer came and butchered two of my men."

Carl is silent, there's hate burning in his eyes.

Negan pauses and his face twists into amusement so suddenly Rick feels his stomach drop.

"Rick. That's your name right? Crawl over here honey." The sweet tone Negan uses makes Carl growl.

Rick can only obey. Negan coaxes him over with little sounds as if he's a dog.

"That's it. I want you to suck my dick. Show your Alpha who you belong to now."

"I-I-" Rick stutters from where he's sitting at Negan's feet. Feels tears spill out of his eyes as he takes Negan's zipper and pulls with trembling hands.

" _Rick_." Carl sounds inhuman.

Rick feels a sob tear out of his throat. Feels _humiliated_. On his knees for another Alpha and Carl is _watching_.

Then Negan's hands are on his, large and warm, and they pull his hands away. Their eyes meet and Rick feels like he can't breath. Negan's dark eyes pierce.

The man laughs then.

"Well shit, two men, that's just a fucking misunderstanding. Now that we all know where we stand. Why don't you and your Alpha go get cozy in the back of that transport van. You can explain the rules."

Carl mauls him. Pushes him over onto the floor of the van before the men even shut the door.

" _Carl_. _Carl_." Rick says, trying to calm him. He should know already that doesn't work.

He bites him and Rick howls.

" _Mine_." Carl spits mindlessly, "Fucking mine."

Carl claws at him.

Someone gets in the front then and bangs against the partition.

Negan's voice floats through.

"If you're going to fuck back there we're hosing you down when we get to town."

Rick is almost thankful for the way Carl pulls back at that. Isn't sure he could live with the humiliation of this dark, awful, forceful man seeing.

 

 

 

He doesn't see Negan again that night. They plop him and Carl in the middle of a suburban-like neighborhood and give them the keys to a house with a white picket fence. It's like stepping back in time. It feels bizarre.

Carl's eyes light up in wonder, but it's quickly tamped down.

Carl is short with him.

And Rick hasn't even explained yet.

"I-I want you to be part of a community." Rick says weakly.

"He mentioned a deal." Carl bites out shortly.

"It's...he wants...for his rut."

Carl explodes into action at that, grasps at Rick's arms and shakes him.

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

"There's five months until...and it won't be....so bad." Rick doesn't want to tell Carl he doesn't have a choice. Thinks Carl knows that anyway.

"He's not going to touch you for five months?" Carl's curious, frowning.

"He has wives. Omega wives. He just needed....someone....for when he gets..."

"Violent? _Stupid Fuck_." Carl spits out, "I'm not letting that happen."

Rick's too tired to deal with it. Carl's strung out with a nervous tension and Rick just wants to drain it away. He leans into him, for a hug, and Carl resists only for a moment.

"I - Rick - can I?" Carl asks. He's still frowning, still thrumming with anger. Rick nods.

Carl leads him down by his hips.

"Not sure what you like," Carl starts, eyes half lidded "other than my dick stuffed down your throat."

Rick moans at that.

"You like when I say dirty things don't you."

Rick can't answer, just moans tiny and high in his throat again. Tries to forget everything but Carl in front of him.

"Look at you, spreading your legs for me. I didn't even have to ask. You just expose yourself like the perfect fucking whore you are."

Rick begins to pant. Twitches his hips up.

" 'm not a whore." He pants.

"No? How many dicks you have in you?"

"J-just you." Carl nods like he knew the answer all along.

"What else then? Fingers? You put your fingers inside you?"

Rick can feel his face turn red.

"Rick." Carl says lowly into his ear like he's waiting for an answer so Rick nods.

" _Fuck_. What else?"

"W-what?" His pants are getting heavier.

"What else did you use to fuck yourself with?"

" _Carl_."

" _Rick_."

"I-I-"

"You don't want to tell me? I guess I'll just have to guess. A popsicle maybe? Screwdriver? Maybe you used one of my little action figurines. Sneaking into my room - "

"C-candle." Rick pants out and covers his face in humiliation.

Carl laughs and pulls his hands away, kisses him.

"I'm not gonna let him." He says and Rick believes it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For vous, Omeero.

 

 

 

 

In the morning. There's a knock at the door. Carl can't say he's not been expecting it.

Rick's still sleeping upstairs. Bonelessly spread over the bed, softly huffing in his sleep where Carl's left him.

"Kid." The Alpha smiles wide, laughs creakingly deep in his throat, when Carl opens the front door.

Carl fucking hates him.

"What's your name again?"

The man's eyebrows shoot up. He smiles and it's dangerous.

"Oh, you do _not_ want to play this fucking game with me so early in the morning."

"Carl?" Rick asks sleepily from the bottom of the steps. He's wiping the sleep out of one eye.

"Now if that's not _the_ cutest fucking thing." Negan says lowly, so Rick doesn't hear. His eyes aren't on Rick though, they're on Carl. Gauging his reaction to the taunt. Baiting him.

It makes Carl's blood boil, and there isn't much he can do to keep it from showing on his face.

"Negan." Rick exhales in near breathless horror, freezes where he is.

Carl shifts in between them, not very subtle.

"Hey there neighbor." Negan addresses Rick, "I just came to collect my second in command here."

Rick mirrors the confusion Carl feels on his face before Negan turns and jerks his head at Carl.

"You think I was just gonna let an Alpha roam freely on my killing grounds?"

" _No_." Rick says, and Carl recognizes that specific tone. That 'lay-down-the-law' type tone that has only ever got Rick pounded down into the dirt. By Shane. By the Governor.

Carl can see the tight anger at the edges of Negan's face. He's subtly baring his teeth at Rick. It occurs to Carl then that Negan doesn't really like his father.

"Excuse me, Sweetheart, the _men_ are talking."

"You're not taking him." Rick walks up to them then, grasps Carl's arm and tries to pull him away from the door. "The deal was-"

" _Rick_." Carl tries.

"The _Deal_." Negan begins, "is whatever the fuck I say it is."

"Y-you're not - " Rick tries again but his sentence is drowned out by a loud laugh from Negan.

"Oh fuck! There's that stuttering mess that was snivelling at my feet yesterday! For a second there I thought you grew some balls."

"Y-you-" Rick tries again.

Rick stutters. Carl knows if he continues the stuttering is only going to get worse. Then Rick will get frustrated and start crying. It's happened a thousand times since Judith. He tries to cut it off at the pass.

" _Rick_." Carl says again, with a hard hand at the back of his neck this time. To ground him.

"Ah, I see. You're one of _those_ omegas." Negan begins, leers.

Carl has to pull Rick back from where he lunges forward.

Negan laughs in Rick's face as Carl holds him back.

"We'll be back in time for supper, _Rick_. Don't be so glum. If you can't be without his cock that long use a fucking candle stick or something."

Carl watches Rick's face heat at that, it twists with guilty humiliation as the fight drains out of him.

"Holy _shit_." Negan spits, at the revelation Rick discloses unintended, "You fucking depraved little horndog."

Tears gather in Rick's eyes.

Carl hates Negan even more, ushers the man out of the house and out of Rick's sight.

 

 

"So..." The man says, casually, as if he hadn't just recently gutted Carl's Dad with humiliation, " _Rick_ told me you went through rut. That true?"

Carl wants to cut the name out of his mouth. Wants to slit the man's throat and pull out his tongue. His jaw stiffens in spite of himself.

They're walking through Alexandria. And Carl wonders why all the names people come up with are so fucking pretentious.

"Yes."

"I'm asking for details." It's said lowly, laced with something like rage. Carl thinks the violent change in emotion is meant to disturb him until he actually takes in the man and realizes it's _real_.

"Last month. It lasted three days." Carl's playing along only because he knows they have five months - doesn't trust it - and knows him and Rick will be long gone before then anyway.

"Only last month?" the surprise is genuine and the man eyes Carl like he doesn't believe him, "There wasn't a lot of damage on him. The self-righteous little cunt acted like you never fucking hurt him at all. That true?"

"No." Carl bites out. It's a sore spot and the man zeroes in on it in an instant.

"Expand upon that, fucking _please_."

They stop walking. Carl has to take a second to look at his feet, but when he confesses he meets Negan's dark, soulless gaze. Carl isn't hiding the truth of things, from anyone. Almost feels _better_ , telling someone who isn't the man he'd abused about it.

"I fucked him bloody. He didn't just cry, he _sobbed_. I used him like he was nothing more than a fucktoy - told him he was. And when he tried to get away? I chased him down."

The man rolls his jaw as if he's thinking.

Then turns and walks quickly in another direction, Carl has to jog to catch up.

 

 

After the spectacle - a makeshift doctor's office, the town distribution center, the gardens, the mess, ammunitions, carpentry and mechanics workshop - they circle back to where they were that morning.

Negan's home is right next to where Carl and Rick are staying.

 _Neighbor_. Just as he'd said.

There are women - omegas - walking around like models in lingerie and high heels when they first come in. One of them looks uncomfortable at Carl's presence but the others don't even hardly notice he's there.

"Oh baby, I feel so sexy, you wanna take me?" One girl, a blonde, asks. She's fingering herself perched against the kitchen counter when Carl and Negan walk in, heedless of any of the other women or Carl.

"Not now. I have company. Later Darlin' " Negan kisses her forehead and they move on.

"Her heat's tomorrow." he explains - eyes challenging - as though Carl had asked.

He leads them into a den. There's a desk littered with papers and tons of books on the wall.

"I brought you here - fuck's your name again?"

"Carl."

"Right, Carl." His tone is almost soft then, reasonable. "I brought you here to show you that your omega - right now - is the last thing on my mind. I have a fuckton of wives - beautiful, fuckable wives. And please note, unlike your omega there, they don't have fucking pissy attitudes. They aren't fucking little cowardly balls of self-righteous stress. I mean, fuck, your omega's not half as attractive as my wives. Which leaves me with the question of whether the fox is going to sneak into my hen house - "

"That won't be a problem." Carl says, voice tight in anger. He should be happy. Things will be easier if Negan doesn't find Rick attractive.

"You know - he said that same damn thing." Negan chuckles.

Carl wishes he could deck him.

"So, right hand man. Sit down, so I can get to know you a little better."

 

 

 

When Negan declares them finished for the day he walks Carl home. Waltzes right in as Rick opens the door. Carl's teeth hurt from clenching.

There's a delicious scent filling the air.

Rick's cooked him supper. Which isn't so unusual, but it makes Negan freeze.

Rick isn't even paying attention to the man, he's looking Carl over.

Negan beats a hasty retreat, murmurs 'smells like _shit_ ' and checks Rick with his shoulder deliberately on his way out.

Rick barely processes it, his concern is all for Carl and it makes the pit of Carl's stomach feel heavy with want.

"You're okay?" Rick asks, and his eyes are worried.

Carl cups his cheek, rubs his thumb down the side of Rick's face.

Rick doesn't seem satisfied that Carl's not hurt until he's checked him over, ran his hands over him.

"Want me to take my clothes off?" Carl jokes.

Rick catches his eye in exasperation. Then suddenly swallows nervously like he's about to say something important.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away before. It's just the two of us. I know that." Rick says seriously.

"Just the two of us." Carl echoes, it brings up a pertinent point, "I know you'd like to stay longer but we shouldn't."

"Why's that?" Rick asks, face pained.

"It'll make us weak." Carl answers truthfully. "Besides we don't know if Negan is going to suddenly change his mind. If he'll really give us five months. He has to know we'll try to leave before then. The sooner the better."

"This..." Rick cuts himself off, changes his line of thought, "I wish we could stay but you're right we can't. What did he make you do?"

"Tour the town basically. I'll tell you all about it later."

Carl crowds against him, kisses him then. His hands slip down to Rick's ass and Rick pulls away, blushes.

"Carl - j-just eat first. I made - something special. It'll get cold." Rick leads him into the dining room by the hand.

There's spaghetti, already dished out, on the table.

As a child, it was Carl's favorite food.

Rick primly turns away from him and sits at the table. Carl follows, even sits down and takes a few bites.

Rick glances up at him shyly, says "Do you like it?" and lifts his fork to his mouth, tucks a forkful of spaghetti in.

Rick's overheated from cooking over a hot stove, flushed with concern and apprehensive that Carl might not like whatever he's got to give.

Carl's overcome then. And maybe it's just the stress of the day, pent up aggression from being so calm but he feels like he can't _wait_ suddenly _._

He gets up, makes his way around the table and jerks Rick up out of his seat, pushes the plates forward so they're out of reach. It's a big enough table that he can still fuck Rick over it. He's so quick Rick still has a mouth full of spaghetti.

Rick's moaning as soon as he's bent over. Drawn out, throaty sounds wet around his mouthful of food.

Carl jerks his pants down. Rick's already wet and Carl only needs an extra few seconds to get them ready before he's driving forward.

The spaghetti falls out of Rick's open mouth on impact. Rick starts making little bitten off, helpless sounds almost immediately.

The table shakes and the dishes rattle. They're getting closer to the edge, closer to falling off with each hard thrust but Carl can't bring himself to care.

"C-Carl-" Rick tries to admonish. Squirms on Carl and reaches for the plates, gets a finger around the rim of one and pulls it out of the danger zone. He moans high in his throat on a particularly satisfying thrust when he's almost got the second one and his hand slips inside, tips it until there's a mess of spaghetti on the table. Rick hardly notices. He shudders then goes boneless like he's going to pass out.

Lays his head down in the wet mess of spaghetti afterwards as he pants.

He moans when Carl pulls out.

Looks at the mess of spaghetti regretfully.

 

 

 

Rick rides him again that night in bed. Eyes half lidded as he screws himself up and down. He slows and looks like he wants to say something.

His curls are stuck to his forehead with sweat.

"Carl-" Rick starts, a little serious.

He's interrupted though when Carl smacks his ass roughly.

"Come on Rick, gotta work harder than that to keep that slutty ass of yours open."

The words cow Rick.

Carl kisses him afterward, trails lazy kisses down his body. Grasps him tightly as they sleep.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

 

 

The next day Negan doesn't show up at the door, and Rick knows because he gets up early to watch.

Negan. The tall man with the slicked back hair, dark eyes and dangerous lean. An Alpha who _kills_ other Alphas. Rick can hardly think of the last time he's been so terrified of someone's mere presence. But then he does, and it's the Governor and Rick shivers.

It's Rick's fault they're here. A strange happenstance, almost like destiny, due simply to his expendability. His orientation.

The thought is well worn, dissected from every angle. If Rick weren't an Omega...but the fact is they are where they are and nothing is going to change that. It's nearly incomprehensible that they've found exactly the things Rick has been looking for - as close to idyllic a community one can get _for Carl's sake_ \- under the worst possible conditions.

When Carl sweeps calmly down the stairs he takes one look at Rick, blows out a tired breath.

"I have to go." Carl says.

"What? Where?" Rick asks, startled.

"I have instructions." Carl says vaguely, smiles at him. Comes over and tips his face up for a kiss that turns heated almost as soon as their mouths touch.

"Did he tell you what I'm going to be doing?" Rick asks when they break apart. He's already flushed and panting and has to work very hard to keep focused. It's like all thought flies from his mind when Carl gets like this. "I should make you breakfast before you go."

Their cupboards are all stocked. And Rick hates to admit how excited that had made him. Remembers that Carl didn't touch his spaghetti. He wonders if it's because Negan was right - that Rick is a shit cook or if - it's the worst thought and so Rick puts it out of his mind. Still, it lingers. Carl recognizing the wrongness of it all and rejecting it, rejecting Rick as a father.

And Rick is - so sorry. About all of it.

"How about I give _you_ breakfast before I go?" Carl says instead. Grabs Rick around the waist, then puts his hands on Rick's shoulders and pushes him down firmly.

He leaves Rick with a mouthful of cum that he's struggling not to swallow, per Carl's orders, as he gives him a goodbye peck at the door. Carl pats his puffed out cheek and it causes him to choke a little, to lose some of the liquid in his mouth as it runs down his chin. He only swallows once he's back inside, alone.

 

 

 

Rick _likes_ it. But he doesn't like to think about it. It's too new, too shameful, too _uncontrollable_. And most of all - Carl isn't judging him for his wants and needs. So it's _okay_. Carl leads him and Rick? - Rick doesn't have to think about the rest of it. It's what he tells himself.

 

 

 

Rick intends on asking Negan about his place in the community. He imagines the man has a use laid out for him - other than the obvious. And Carl had told him the man lived next door. Rick cleans himself up, wonders if people can see the _sex_ on him or if that's all they see once they know they're looking at an Omega anyway.

When he knocks on Negan's door another Omega, or what Rick assumes is an Omega anyway, answers. A beautiful woman dressed in black lingerie. She drapes casually against the door.

"I'm looking for Negan." Rick says, can't help how his face heats at the woman's undressed state. She doesn't bat an eyelash but jerks her thumb to the staircase.

"He's in the master bedroom."

The woman looks him up and down.

"I'm Sherry." she says hostilely, leaves the door open as she walks away.

There's a lot of other women, as Rick moves through the house. They look at him curiously but when he tries to speak to them they turn away.

He knocks at the door at the end of the upstairs hall, hopes the layout of their houses are roughly the same although Negan's house is undeniably bigger. With the amount of wives he's taken, it makes sense.

"Come in!" Even muffled through the door, the voice is deep and commanding, sends a chill down Rick's spine.

He regrets opening the door as soon as he does it. He's sure all the blood in his body has migrated to his face and he backs up to leave but Negan's words stop him.

" _Don't leave._ " Negan says darkly, voice solid and _bored_ sounding as he bounces the girl in his lap. "Since you saw fit to fucking disturb us get the fuck in here and inform me what was so important you couldn't wait."

They continue - _fucking_. And it's vulgar. Rick stands frozen.

"Did you not hear me, you fucking idiot? Close the fucking door." Negan barks at him. The girl - woman - _Omega_ \- Rick realizes is moaning mindlessly.

Rick closes the door. Tears prick in his eyes when he thinks how she's going to feel afterward, knowing a stranger has witnessed her loss of control.

"Well?" Negan asks, and the man is making eye contact with him. Eyes dark and half lidded.

"I-I wanted - that is - m-my job. You assigned Carl a job and I wanted to know where I would be assigned."

Negan stills the woman's hips at that, laughs with genuine humor. So much so that Rick actually has to ask himself what's so funny. The girl whimpers and tries to start up again but Negan's hold is firm. He pulls her off of him, neither of them have...finished.

"You can suck yourself off of me for a little while sweetheart." Negan says, pats her head before turning to Rick. "Did you actually forget that you're a fucking whore, _Rick_? Your only job is to lay on your back and spread your legs when I call."

The insult - the implication that Rick cannot do anything because he is an Omega - _burns_. His mouth tightens. And the _whore_ thing? Rick can't touch that even in his own mind.

Rick tries to ignore the woman's bobbing head, is thankful she is at least under the blanket.

He turns to leave then, doesn't feel like there's anymore to say.

" _Wait_." Negan says, and the words are filled with such aggression that Rick stills at once, is disgusted with himself for cowing to the man. "I won't lie. Something about you rubs me the wrong fucking way. I don't like you. But you get some of the same benefits of the others. I provide you with a home, with food, you don't have to work for that. Unlike my wives though, you need points for other things you want. So if you want an assignment, I will find one for you."

It's disturbing how calm Negan's voice is, how lucid he is -how calculating - when he's in the act of ...

Rick can't even _think_ when him and Carl...

Rick glances at the other Omega and thinks maybe that's just the difference between Omegas and Alphas.

"I'll find you after." Negan's eyes are still watching him, "Now get out of here so I can fuck my beautiful wife."

 

 

 

Rick's washing dishes that afternoon when Negan finds him. The man knocks on the door and barges his way in without waiting for Rick to respond.

"What? You think I wouldn't have the key to my lovely home?" Negan asks at Rick's startled expression.

"You said it was ours." Rick says shortly, pulls his hands out of the sink and wipes the bubbles off his arms.

Negan stalks forward then, gets uncomfortably close. Rick leans against the sink and feels the water left on the counter soak into the back of his shirt.

"Sure Rick, I guess you could say it's 'yours' if that's how you'd like to frame it. You're just forgetting one very crucial component."

There's a beat of silence. When Rick doesn't say anything Negan continues. Leans in, impossibly, closer.

" _You belong to me_. It only follows that if you belong to me then everything that belongs to you belongs to me too. Isn't that right?"

Negan's voice has gone cold and hard by the end.

Rick can't help the way his jaw tightens and his eyes flash in anger.

Negan chuckles darkly, whistles, "oh wow. Do I need to lay hands on you Rick?"

The man's gaze is intense, unwavering and with no small amount of shame Rick breaks it off first, lowers his gaze.

Negan backs off then but his eyes stay on Rick as he settles himself against the opposite wall.

"Don't make the mistake of thinking you're all cozy and safe Rick. I've had you on your knees, ready to slide my dick down your throat and if we have to we can revisit that scene. Have Carl walking in on - "

"Stop. I get it. Please stop." Rick feels nauseous at the thought.

"Good. I'm glad we're on the same page Rick. Now about your assignment. Marketable skills is what we're fucking looking for. Don't suppose you have any of those?"

It makes Rick's head spin. How easily the man can jump from threatening to rape someone to marketable job skills. It takes Rick's mind a moment to switch tracks but he's still trembling a little in fear when he answers.

"I can farm - garden, more like." Rick corrects himself, "I have a little experience with livestock."

"Okay great. You'll have to start at the bottom. I'll put you in the shit shack, shovelling manure. How's that strike you Rick?" Negan strokes his chin, looks darkly amused. He's probably expecting Rick to protest.

"Fine. Thank you."

"Polite to boot." Negan says, tauntingly. Pushes up off the wall as if to leave.

The man hems and haws and generally takes forever and that's when Rick says it.

"Your wife's in heat. It's cruel to just..." And not just cruel, dangerous.

"What was that Rick?" Negan asks, without mirth.

"I meant to say you don't have to worry about me. I know you have other matters -" Rick rephrases.

"Oh but I _do_ worry about you. I worry so much in fact, that I think I'll stay a little longer. Not too long of course, I wouldn't want to intrude on your dinner would I Rick?"

The last question is less of a question and more of a threat.

"Would you like to stay for dinner Negan?" Rick says, and he isn't sure he's read the threat right until Negan answers.

"Well, I certainly couldn't refuse since you asked so nicely, could I?"

 

 

 

Rick finishes the dishes and starts on dinner early, right away. He's thinking of the poor Omega in the next house over.

He tries not to notice Negan watching him.

It's stew and biscuits. Inevitably it's going to go cold before Carl gets home. Rick would make something else, something faster but he already has the ingredients out and something about Negan's presence makes it hard to think.

"While the biscuits are cooking, maybe you should - " Rick stops, as he turns around and catches sight of Negan's face. His voice just dies.

"You _worried_ about me, Rick? My wife? How thoughtful of you." Negan's smile is slick, dead-like, before he sighs, "the other women are _helping_ her out."

"What?" The word pops out of Rick's mouth before he can think it through. He didn't even know something like that was a possibility.

"Don't get any fucking ideas," Negan growls, "they wouldn't be satisfied by that no doubt tiny Omega dick of yours anyway."

Rick blinks dumbly, and turns away. Feels his face heat. He wishes Carl were home.

It isn't really necessary because Negan gets strangely quiet for the rest of the evening. He eats what Rick's put before him, doesn't remark on it at all. It's only as he's leaving that he speaks again.

"Thank you _Omega_."

The word like a curse.

 

 

 

Carl isn't exactly angry with Rick when he comes home, though he is deeply unsatisfied with the situation. He can sense that Negan's been in the house.

He bends Rick over his lap. Spanks him.

Rick finds himself arching into the heavy handed slaps. Heating at the way his breaths are interrupted with the abrupt displacement of air on each smack.

He moans faintly and that makes Carl smack harder, faster until Rick isn't sure he'll be able to sit properly.

Once Carl's out of breath he hoists Rick, who stumbles, up and splays him out over the bed. Draws him up to put him on his hands and knees.

" _Carl_." he whines when Carl pushes against Rick but doesn't breach him. Rick chases the pressure but Carl pulls back in proportion.

"You have such a tiny hole Rick, I wouldn't want to ruin it." Carl's watching him calmly, waiting on his response.

Rick's face heats in embarrassment. He has trouble saying it.

"Y-you can ruin it." It isn't enough though, Carl still won't let Rick splay himself open, holds his hips still. "Pl-please Carl."

When Carl still doesn't fold Rick _begs_.

" _Ruin me_." The words are something he can say.

Carl smiles darkly, satisfied. Rick doesn't have time to ruminate on it, whines on the initial breach.

When Carl starts bucking against him in earnest Rick feels the sting of each hard slap of flesh on flesh, it feels nearly unbearable. He gasps, mouth falling open. Everything feels alive, electric and Rick suddenly wishes Carl could be at two places at once. Wishes he had Carl in his mouth too.

It's a _sick_ thought Rick has but when it strikes him he comes all over himself. Gets cum all over the sheets, his chest, the column of his neck and under his chin.

He imagines Carl saying _Suck yourself off of me for a little while sweetheart._

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

  
  


 

 

Carl kisses him awake. It's sweet and slow. Rick shifts and pain creeps up his spine.

"Are you okay?" Carl asks when he winces, runs his hands across Rick's stomach.

"Fine." Rick murmurs, sleepy and sated.

Carl gets up off of the bed and Rick pulls him back with his hand.

"Gotta get ready for work." Carl teases, but he doesn't pull away, stands ready for Rick's next move. "What do you want Rick?"

"I want - " Rick stumbles when it comes down to it. He isn't so good about voicing these things outside the heat of the moment.

"You want your hole fucked?" Carl asks, voice low in his throat.

Rick rubs his face into the covers, embarrassed. Every time Carl talks like this it stuns him, makes him embarrassed and wanting and without words.

"Not...there. I'm sore." He eventually manages.

"Where then Rick?"

Rick can already feel his breathing change, fall into heavy pants.

"M-my mouth."

 

 

 

Rick is hoarse with it afterwards. Voice gravelly and wrecked. 

Carl watches him with dark eyes, satisfaction evident.

He moves an arm, and Rick almost thinks he's reaching down to swipe the hair out of his face - anticipates a tender moment. But Carl isn't, he's just shifting to get more comfortable.

"Thanks for swallowing." He says.

 

 

 

Negan collects Carl, looks Rick up and down and smirks hatefully.

"You're sure putting some mileage on that pussy." He says vulgarly.

Rick tries to tamp his glare of intense hatred down, tries to hide his shiver as he remembers the last time he'd thought of Negan. Carl doesn't even try. For all of Carl's silence Rick has seen that look on his face before and it's usually right before someone is about to die.

"What? Not even a good morning Rick?" Negan asks facetiously, ignores the tension in the room.

"Good Morning." Rick spits out, forgets for a moment that his throat is sore, and it comes out hoarse.

Negan raises his eyebrows at that and Rick turns away, shame and humiliation rolling sickeningly in his gut. He can't bring himself to look at the man again.

"I'll send someone for you." Negan says, on his and Carl's way out.

 

 

 

There's a nervous man that turns up just after Carl's left.

"Hello." Rick starts off, because maybe it's the end of the world but he can still be polite, "Are you here to show me my job assignment? I'm Rick."

"Indeed I am. My name's Eugene."

Eugene is startlingly awkward. He swallows and fidgets for a few moments until he takes in Rick's calm and settles.

"Just let me put my boots on." Rick wedges the door open so Eugene can come inside but instead the man flounders at the threshold.

Rick doesn't bother to lock the door.

"So I'm taking you to where we keep the livestock to um, 'shovel shit' as Negan says."

It's apparent the man isn't really good at small talk, the words are stilted and uncolored.

Rick feels a strange fondness bloom. For some reason or another the man makes him think briefly of Daryl, who floundered and was sweet and was no doubt dead.

"Thanks for showing me the way. What is it you do down here?" Rick says in order to shake the thought, he's had practice at dispelling loved ones from his mind.

"Me? Oh - uh, that is. Well, Top Secret." They stutter to a stop in front of a field, partitioned into fourths. There's a large barn at the back. "So it's - there. Can't miss it. I just - um, work in that building over there if you need anything."

 

 

 

Rick shovels all day long until his arms are stiff. He's soaked with sweat and sore, and it's late afternoon, when Eugene collects him. 

"Mr. Rick, sir." The mulleted man nods, mouth downturned.

"Just Rick. Eugene, right?" Rick smiles but Eugene doesn't smile back.

"That is correct. I have orders from Negan to escort you back to the safety of your abode."

"Isn't it...too early?" Rick asks uneasily.

"I will impart the details as we travel."

"Right, okay." Rick says as he wipes his hands on his jeans.

Eugene doesn't seem to warm to him but Rick is enjoying the company of someone else - someone who isn't a threat - too much to keep to himself.

"Do you prefer Mr. Eugene?"

"Indeed I do not. I only endeavoured to give the proper deference to Negan's new accruement."

"Accruement, huh?" Rick can't help but say. Eugene colors at the rebuke.

"I meant no offense." Genuine regret is dripping off of the semi-serious man and Rick takes pity.

"It's okay." Rick tries to change the subject, "It was nice, not having to look out for walkers."

Eugene doesn't take the out.

"You know, we all belong to Negan. Just some more than others."

The words chill something in Rick, but he doesn't think about it. Reminds himself him and Carl won't be staying long anyway.

"Is there a reason why he brought me back earlier than the others?" Rick asks.

"He wants you to prepare supper for him."

The words stop Rick up short. He stops walking for a long minute and has to jog to catch back up.

 

 

 

He isn't sure what Negan is expecting. Rick makes the same thing - Stew and biscuits. Partly because they only have so many ingredients and partly as an act of defiance.

Rick expects Negan and Carl to show up at the same time. He makes enough. He's startled though when there's a loud knock and a second later Negan comes strolling through the kitchen, alone.

The man wolf whistles sarcastically. Then pulls out a chair and sits at the table, watches Rick as he scrambles to serve him.

He expects him to remark on being served the exact same thing when he sets it before him. Negan doesn't. The man just stares at the bowl and plate of buttered biscuits before looking up at Rick darkly.

"Sit down Rick."

Rick sits in the chair across from him warily.

"Carl will be in in a little while." Negan remarks as he slowly stirs the hot stew, takes forever to bring the spoon to his mouth. He closes his eyes for a long second just before he swallows. Rick startles when Negan's eyes open and meet his, realizes belatedly that he'd been staring.

"When's your heat?" Negan asks as he tips backward in his chair, tosses the spoon on the table before grabbing a biscuit and ripping it messily apart.

Crumbs and chunks of biscuit litter the table.

"Three weeks." Rick says, despite himself. Negan is calm and settled, as if they're talking about the weather and not intimate, humiliating details of Rick's life.

"Right. Hopefully it holds, if the other Omega's don't throw your schedule out of whack."

"What?" The word is breathless and a little startled.

"Hn." Negan says consideringly, low in his throat, "You didn't know about that either did you? Caught us by surprise. One of my wives became resistant to the suppressants when they started to lose their potency. The rest followed like dominoes. So I wouldn't bother wasting your points on suppressants if I were you."

Negan watches Rick's face as he takes the information in. Rick wishes the displeasure he felt didn't show so starkly on his face. Negan bites viciously into the biscuit he's been ripping up.

"Not like you need to worry though, right _Rick_? You already have a big, hard Alpha dick to ride."

The words cause Rick's hackles to raise.

"Now don't be getting your knickers in a twist there princess. After all we both know the truth of things, don't we?"

"What do you mean by that?" Rick shouldn't ask, shouldn't placate the man unless forced. He knows that but it doesn't stop him from reacting.

"You know I would rather be an Alpha, with all our fucked up blood lust and capacity for inflicting pain than an Omega like you. You're either mother or whore, aren't you? I can guess which one you are."

The words, startlingly perceptive, strike Rick at his core.

"What did you come here for?" He manages to voice.

Negan doesn't grace him with an answer. Stares at him as if he's _considering_ something.

"Are you done?" Rick asks shortly, jaw set, gestures to the pile of crumbs littering the table and the bowl of cooling stew.

He maybe expects for Negan to upend it or to spit in it or something.

"No." Negan intones darkly.

Then he actually eats it.

 

 

 

It's as the man is leaving that he makes his final parting shot.

"Well Rick, you better hope Carl is into scat. You smell like a huge sack of shit."

Rick firmly reminds himself he doesn't _care_ what Negan thinks, Negan is no one to him. It's not like Rick didn't catch the faint hint of manure still on his clothes. It hadn't come off in his hurried shower.

Still, even though he doesn't care what Negan thinks, Rick still scrubs himself down heavily in the shower again before Carl gets home.

Then Rick gets to work on a second supper, tries not to be bitter at the fact Negan has taken Carl's food with him, sorted into little plastic compartments.

Rick will just have to learn to make more.

 

 

 

Rick gives himself over to it. Carl is tireless as if he's chasing the pace heat and rut have set and if they stop they'll both fall apart.

Maybe they will.

Maybe this is all that can be between them now.

The thought panics Rick, and he pushes it down.

Where Negan had said Mother Rick hears Father.

_Father or Whore._

Negan thinks he knows which Rick is. Rick realizes Carl's come to the same conclusion.

Carl gives him a lazy smiles from his position above him.

Uses his grip in Rick's hair to lead him towards his dick.

"Love you Carl." Rick says, like he's been trying to say for a while in this context. He doesn't think Carl hears him though. He doesn't answer him back. 

All he does is push Rick down further, presses his member more insistently at Rick's mouth.

"Love your mouth." Carl says when Rick finally acquiesces.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

 

 

"What's your favorite food, _Rick_?"

The question is inane enough, seemingly harmless, if only it hadn't come out of Negan's mouth. Rick flounders, wipes his hands on his apron.

"Dunno."

He'd made roast with a variety of mashed root vegetables, butter and chives. Rick doesn't exactly begrudge the fact he has to make Negan dinner because the ingredients are always something previously unobtainable and there's always enough for Carl.

"Don't make me ask again." Negan appears noncommittal but Rick can hear the threat in his voice.

"Cherries. I guess. Fruit."

They're in the kitchen and all Rick wants is for the man in front of him to get out of his hair. He's already packed a generous amount of leftovers, knows Negan takes it as a hint when the man's eyes rove over them but it still doesn't make him leave.

He idly wonders where Negan takes the leftovers anyway.

"What else?" Negan's dark eyes make Rick shift uncomfortably, the man's broad and tensed frame looking like it could uncurl into violence at any moment.

Rick can very nearly feel it in the air.

"I...I guess I used to like pancakes with whipped cream."

"Well aren't you just a pretty pretty princess." Negan mocks.

Rick reminds himself that no matter what he chose the outcome would be the same. He only has to put up with it a little longer.

 

 

 

 

Rick enjoys his morning walks with Eugene. He hadn't expected him to show up after that first day but Eugene shows up without fail to walk him to and from home.

The morning is special though - there isn't the added crushing pressure of Negan's impending appearance.

They exchange light pleasantries and Rick tries to avoid overly sensitive topics. He doesn't expect Eugene, who answers but never asks, to have a question of his own.

"If I may be so bold as to inquire - what was it like out there?" Eugene's overly serious tone precludes a flippant response.

Rick seriously considers before answering.

"Hard. It was hard. Carl and I...we were out there, in the wild, for years. We used to have...but mostly, we only had each other. You have to keep running and running. There's no opportunity to build a home. Not like you have."

Rick's heart clenches in his chest. Under different circumstances, for Carl, he would have liked to have stayed.

They're silent until Rick bids Eugene goodbye at the field and the man awkwardly shuffles away.

Rick takes any instructions he's given by the farm hands. Doesn't really know any of the somewhat large group by name.

 

 

 

Carl wants to leave before Rick's next heat. During his duties as Negan's second he's learned the layout of the city, learned of its weak spots and how to take advantage of them.

Only it comes on suddenly, unexpectedly - Rick's heat. One moment Carl is shooting the shit with the watchmen and the next he's being beckoned by the man Negan calls 'Doctor Mullet', who is nervous and sweaty.

"It's your mate. He's gone into heat prematurely."

"Where is he?" Carl will deny his heart leaps to his throat. His mind races.

"I brought him home. He needs you."

The man says other things but Carl is already gone.

He smells Rick before he even gets in the house. It washes over him like a wave and all he can feel is relief that Rick's unmolested.

When he gets inside and calls Rick's name and there's no answer is when he starts worrying. There's strange little sobbing sounds though and he follows them to their source. Rick's in the living room and the image he makes is so filthy Carl has to pause.

His fingers are wildly twisting in and out alongside other objects he's stuffed inside himself, what looks to be whatever he could reach from the end table. There's pens, pencils, a stir stick and a marker. Carl cringes at the sight of scissor handles but they're closed and that's the main thing.

"Carl.." Rick pants, "I-I need...need-"

Carl hums low in his throat before closing the gap between them. Firmly pulling Rick's hand out of himself. He whines and twists and Carl's throat goes dry.

Rick's alternately sobbing and wrenching out little 'no's as Carl pulls the miscellaneous items out of him.

"Shh." Carl soothes as he inspects him to make sure there isn't any damage. "Getting yourself ready for me?"

"Please Carl." The words are choked out and Carl revels in it. 

It takes another prompt for him to act.

"Carl _please_."

"What do you want?" He asks. It isn't just because he likes hearing it - although does he ever like hearing it, hearing filthy desperate words drip from his beloved father's righteous mouth - more like, it's something he _needs_ to hear.

He needs to know it's okay.

" _Everything_."

 

 

 

When Rick tries to kiss him after, turns and crawls into his lap, Carl grabs Rick's face and turns it away. Changes his mind and shoves Rick's head down towards his dick.

Carl _loves_ being rough and filthy with him. Loves perverting that strange innocence and purity only to have it resurface as trusting submission and unfailing loyalty. No matter how Carl filthies him Rick always cleans up so well.

It's probably on their fourth go that Negan turns up.

Carl's always a little rough, sometimes more than a little, but the appearance of him causes Carl's hackles to raise. He's really rough then. Rick can only whine as Carl shoves him down all the way on him.

Negan's eyes trace over Rick's face. Rick doesn't even notice him. Carl bitterly lets him watch - is perversely glad he can show him just who exactly Rick belongs to. Negan's never going to so much as _touch_ Rick.

Rick continues to struggle for a minute but Carl doesn't let him pull back. Knows he can take it. Rick chokes a little more, arms flailing. 

_You fucking filthy whore._ Carl wants to say, but they're not alone.

When Negan slips from the room, Rick doesn't even notice.

 

 

 

He should tell Rick but there isn't really any reason to. Besides, they're leaving some time in the next few days. Carl's decided it's too dangerous to stay. Wishes Negan hadn't seen them, wonders if the man will recognize his possessiveness and guess at their escape attempt.

Rick's heat breaks the next day - is short and intense and unpredictable.

This time when Rick says I love you, lying in bed after his heat, Carl says it back. He hasn't banished all the guilt that kept him from saying it in the first place. Rick knows that Carl loves him, Carl's sure of that, but he supposes Rick must like to hear it.

It's just the two of them, after all. If Rick is alright taking all of Carl's ugliness and squaring it away Carl can't find it in him to fault himself. The one person who could hold him accountable, whose opinion actually matters, is too generous to do so.

He tries to pull Rick into bed, can tell he's still sore and more than a little exhausted but Rick refuses. He showers quickly, runs his fingers through his tangle of curls, and Carl had always wondered how he hadn't inherited that beloved feature.

Makes him tingle to think he's half _Rick_.

 

 

 

There isn't anyone in the barn this late in the morning to give him direction so Rick sets to work cleaning the stables out, refilling the hay troughs and refilling water. It's a few hours before someone comes by and sets Rick to work on another task. It's late afternoon when Rick is in the field using a worn out hoe to dig up weeds and help disturb the ground.

He doesn't know how long the little girl watches him before he notices.

It feels like he should know.

He's only aware of her when she thumps to the dirt to cross her legs and stares up at him from her place on the ground. She's watching from the fence. She's blonde, looks to be around five.

Rick feels his heart stutter in his chest.

There's no reason it should. It's not like Rick hasn't seen other children. It's especially not like Rick hasn't seen other children and thought of Judith. It's a completely irrational reaction.

"Are you a farmer?" The little girl asks, wipes her dirty palms on her dress.

"Y-yes." Rick answers, though he really isn't.

"My Daddy was a farmer. He grew stuffs and raised piggies."

Rick means to say 'Oh, is that right?' but his voice cuts out on the first syllable.

They stare at each other until the little girl giggles.

"You're weird."

Rick should say something but his tongue feels swollen in his mouth.

"Judith!" The voice booms with authority.

Rick flinches but Judith - Judith Judith it can't really be Judith - smiles in surprise and calls back.

"I'm here Papa!"

Rick's frozen solid when Negan arrives. The man regards him coolly and opens his arms up to the little girl who happily jumps up into them. He shifts her onto his hip. Turns from Rick and makes to leave hastily but the little girl stops him.

"I was talkin' to him Papa."

"Later, Judith." Negan says shortly.

"Papa!" the little girl whines and Rick can see a stiff, halting reluctance as Negan brings her back over.

"This is my daughter." He says blankly to Rick.

"Papa, don't be mean. He's a pretty farmer, like my Daddy was." The girl pulls endearingly at her ear, tilts her head and smiles widely. "What's your name?"

"Rick." It's faint, barely audible and it makes Negan scowl viciously.

Negan let's Judith down and pats her back in the direction of town.

"Go get ready for dinner Judy."

"But Papa-"

"Judy." At the stern tone she sighs and wanders off with a little backward wave and smile at Rick.

Rick's reeling. There isn't another word for it. He doesn't even perceive Negan until he feels the man's hot breath on his face.

"You're a sick, fucking worthless slut, you know that? What the fuck was that?" Negan's voice is dangerously low.

"What?" Rick's voice is very nearly intangible.

"That. Your fucking sex voice from your fucked out throat." The rebuke stings but Rick's too stunned to feel it. Negan pushes him back with a finger until Rick stumbles, "Stay the fuck away from my daughter."

 

 

 

It changes everything. Leaving is no longer an option. And Carl - Carl is going to be ecstatic. Rick's already in tears by the time he gets home.

He even trips over a fruit basket that's left on the front porch in his haste.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Judith

 

 

 

 

At Carl's blank stare Rick tries to elaborate.

"It's _Judith_ Carl, she's alive." The emotion makes his voice thick and tears of joy are streaming down his face.

He wipes at his tears in embarrassment and maybe that's why he doesn't clue in right away. Carl isn't saying anything. When Rick finally looks up his soft smile falters.

"She's not alive." Carl says, expression stormy. His eyes are hard.

"Carl-"

Carl scoffs low in his throat, looks away from Rick as if he can't bear the sight of him.

"Should have known." Carl mutters before facing Rick squarely. "The guilt finally caught up with you."

"No-" Rick protests. Judith is alive. It's the only thing that matters at the moment.

"Yes." Carl hisses. " _Should have known._ "

"That's not - she's -"

"Like you didn't go fucking crazy after mom."

It's like a slap to the face. It's something they don't talk about. Carl nestles in closer, Rick can feel the heat roll off of him.

"How long until you feel guilty for this Rick? Or is that what this is about? Using Judith's memory to stop because you feel guilty? That's low _Dad_."

Carl's motions are stiff with anger. He reaches a hand up, stops himself and backs a step away.

" _Carl -_ " Rick presses forward, wants to comfort.

Carl's all over him in the next second.

"You want to fucking stop?" Carl says bitterly, pops the buttons on Rick's shirt as he rips it off him. And Rick knows Carl is still keyed up from Rick's residual heat but Carl isn't thinking clearly. He pushes and Rick topples over the back of the couch, twists his knee wrong on the way down. Carl doesn't notice.

"Carl - _wait_ \- "

They should be celebrating.

Instead Carl whips Rick's belt off and pulls his jeans down his legs. The rough movement jostles his leg but the pain is tolerable.

_Judith_.

Maybe Carl is right because Rick can't do this with the weight of her hanging over them.

"Carl. Stop." Rick intones, authoritatively as he can.

"O-one more time." Carl says, sets his teeth on Rick's collarbone.

"I-I wanna stop." His voice sounds weak to his own ears.

Carl shifts back at that, meets Rick's gaze. Something vicious and dark rears it's ugly head in Carl's eyes but in the next second it fades.

"Fine." Carl pushes himself up off the couch. "Don't expect me to come running back to you."

"Carl-" Rick tries for the umpteenth time. It's mostly useless, Rick understands that, it has to be seen to be believed. As soon as Carl _sees_ -

Carl interrupts his thoughts by pushing Rick back down from where he's sat up, hand on his belly. Carl let's his hand trail right up to Rick's throat where he gives it a little squeeze. Rick can't help but surge forward a little.

"It'll be like the first time." Carl says unkindly, "you'll have to beg. Even then, I might not want you. There are a lot of omega's here, you know? You wouldn't have been my first choice. Maybe you were just a warm place to stick it, ever thought of that?"

The words make Rick feel sick and his voice sticks in his throat despite himself.

Carl will come around, once he sees - Rick's sure of it. Carl leaves, doesn't come back all night. Negan doesn't come for dinner.

 

 

 

When Rick wakes up in the morning Carl isn't there. Eugene doesn't come for Rick either, so Rick makes his way out himself. Rick tries to convince himself Carl will be back tonight but can't shake the uneasiness that dogs him.

He finds a fruit basket on the front porch, vaguely remembers tipping it over. He settles it with care on the kitchen table. It isn't cherries but there are a variety of stone fruits. He feels almost chastened by it.

Rick thinks about Negan and Judith and what that means. He thinks about Negan's absence the night before. There's a lot of little worries, and a few big ones, to sort through but it doesn't stop warmth from blossoming in Rick's chest every time he thinks of _her_.

He feels excited, wonders if she'll happen to stop by the garden again. Rick thinks only of the immediate future, beyond is too messy. He feels tears prick in his eyes at the thought of Judith eating the leftovers of Rick's cooking in the tupperware containers. There's no hard evidence that that is where the leftovers are going but Rick likes to think so anyway.

He staunchly doesn't think of if he deserves to see Judith.

He spots Eugene before he gets to the Barn and doesn't hesitate to run up and greet him.

"I did not expect you to recover so...promptly." The man actually looks worried.

"Lasted a day. I was back to work yesterday." Rick explains.

"Negative. That is - I've never heard before of - " Eugene's words tumble out.

Rick rubs at the back of his neck and shrugs. Eugene looks unsure before he seems to steel himself.

"You need to go back home."

"I appreciate the concern but I'm fine." Rick will admit he's a little exasperated, feels too excited to be getting out in the field that any delay puts him in a bad mood.

"Rick." And it must be serious because the man is using his name, "You're an Omega. You need to go back home. I'll take you, then - "

"I'm _fine_. What do you know about Omega's anyway." It comes out a little petulant and Rick regrets it when Eugene's eyes fall.

"I used to live with two of them and an...an Alpha." Eugene says, pain in every syllable. "...what I'm working on precludes knowledge of..."

Eugene stops himself sharply. They stare at each other for a second until Rick clears his throat.

"Ok, I'll go." he buckles.

"I'll get them to send for your Mate, then I'll walk you home."

 

 

 

Eugene does, he evens waits with Rick until Rick starts to feel heat prickle up the back of his neck. Eugene gets him cool water and a pillow to prop behind his back.

"This used to help." The man smiles shortly.

"Your Omega's?" Rick asks.

"They were not mine but...affirmative." Eugene continues at Rick's curious gaze, he's probably trying to distract Rick from his growing discomfort. "They...did not like each other. There was just the one Alpha and he didn't...he never would have taken...he was not the sort to have two lovers at once. O-or three."

Eugene swallows and Rick feels a pulse of heartache at the implication.

"I am a Beta, as you know. He would never have picked me in the end. He kept - he kept - he was fickle but mostly he favoured...it doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry." Rick says, and he actually is. Eugene wrings his hands.

"Dead, now."

Rick can guess why, can guess who.

Eugene opens his mouth to say more but they're interrupted by a knock at the door. Rick thinks it's Carl right up until the door opens.

And of course, he should have known, because Carl wouldn't have knocked.

He's surprised that Negan does.

 

 

 

When they're alone Negan drags a kitchen chair into the living room and seats himself across from Rick. There's a simple, mean sort of mirth on his face as he watches Rick squirm. Every movement from the man seems deliberate, purposeful, and crafted to set Rick's teeth on edge.

"I'm not in heat." Rick spits out. It's a half lie, he can feel it coming back around with a heretofore unseen intensity.

"I know. Carl's coming." Negan reassures. "I'll keep you company until then. Can't have you sticking yourself up like a pin doll just because you're desperate."

"Be waiting a long time for that." Rick bites out. The words imply _never_ \- even if that's not quite truthful - and Negan quirks a smile.

"Sure." he drawls and there's a dimple at the side of his mouth that Rick's gaze latches onto for a second.

He shakes himself out of it.

Negan's eyes are watching him. Something flickers across the man's gaze and he looks away, clears his throat.

"I apologize for yesterday. I get a little...protective."

"I understand." Rick says shortly, the heat is making it hard to think of little else.

"You ever have kids Rick?" Negan asks.

Rick nearly burns in sudden anger _\- You have one of them_ \- he wants to say. He deliberately puts Judy out of his mind, doesn't want her here in this context.

"When's Carl getting back?" He asks. Soon, let it be soon, is what Rick is thinking.

 

 

 

Rick doesn't want to - but he's desperate.

"Rick." Negan growls in warning. The Alpha's words do a good job of pinning Rick to his seat. For a minute.

Rick squirms and there are tears rolling down his cheeks. The heat is making him slip.

"He's not coming." The words are nearly a sob. "H-he's mad at me. He said - "

" _Rick_."

"I-I can't-" Rick gasps. "I need - I need - "

Rick shoots up off the couch. Reaches for whatever he can get his hands on. The first viable option is a bottle.

Rick hasn't even gotten his pants down all the way before Negan grabs him roughly at the wrist and yanks the bottle out of his hand. Rick whines. He tries to break Negan's hold on him. He tries not to lean into the brand of warm skin.

"None of that." Negan intones darkly. He looks a little disturbed. "Think you can be good for one fucking minute?"

Rick only realizes it's an actual question when Negan tugs at his wrist.

"Fucking answer me Rick." Negan's warm brown eyes, shuttered by black lashes, blink sternly at him and Rick feels his stomach flop.

"I-I can be good." The strangest part is that he means to be.

Negan manhandles him back to the couch and sits him down. Then he walks over to the door, throws it open and whistles loudly. A man jogs over in the next second. Their exchange is whispered and low but Rick can hear _Why the fuck isn't he here yet_ plain as day.

"Fuck!" Negan slams the door shut violently and Rick flinches.

Rick hadn't expected Carl to actually...and now Rick's left alone, with Negan.

"I can't ask my wives to help you through." He says almost reluctantly, while he paces angrily.

"L-let me suffer then. Alone. H-he's not coming." Rick heaves out a heavy sob at that. He _needs_. Tears flood his vision so he doesn't even realize Negan is crouched in front of him until he feels the man's hands on his thighs.

"Rick. He is coming, I promise."

"He's not." Rick cries out, starts to squirm. "He would've been here already if-"

"I know. It's my fault. I sent him out far yesterday when he asked." Rick whimpers at that.

"He still should have been back by now or you wouldn't have -" Rick gestures at the door. "He _isn't_ coming, he doesn't want me -"

" _Rick_." Negan reaches up to cup Rick's face. "That's not - look - would it help if I told you I delayed the message? I wanted to see you squirm. That's my fault. That's on me. He'll be here as soon as he can."

That should make Rick feel angry, instead all he feels is comforted. It doesn't last long though until the persistent heat is pounding through his blood, making it hard to think.

"I don't think I can wait that long." His voice is small when he says it, there's fear in it.

"I'll...help you." Negan bites out.

"N-not yet." Rick slurs out when Negan reaches his other arm out for him.

Negan retreats to the chair across the room and Rick is already feeling his thighs quake.

He wants it so bad it's like that first time. _Please Mister_ Rick thinks _impale me_. He just wants Carl though. He wants his thick, hard length in him. Wants to clench tightly around it and he whimpers when he clenches hard on nothing.

Negan watches him coolly from across the room.

_He's so like Carl that first time_ , Rick tries not to think.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

 

 

Rick is squirming in frustration, tears pooling - then spilling - then pooling again. He feels like he's itching out of his skin. He's _burning_.

Negan is a tall cool glass of water in the desert.

Rick's hips jolt without his consent, beginning to press back and forward. He _needs_ something. And he's trying to be good, afraid that he's failed when he starts all out rocking his hips, which turns into something like bouncing. Rick stops himself with some difficulty. He doesn't have the presence of mind to feel embarrassed about his open mouthed panting and his pinked cheeks. Decides if Negan doesn't like it then the man can leave.

Rick wishes he would just leave.

If he left Rick could fill himself with something. Could -

"C-Carl." Rick chokes out with some difficulty, feels more tears swell in his eyes.

It's twilight outside.

"He's coming Rick."

And Negan has been saying the same thing over and over.

Rick _needs -_ he's barely holding on, can feel himself slipping. Rick doesn't want to be a _whore,_ can feel tears stick in his throat when he thinks it, but he doesn't think he can help it.

"Negan." He says instead, tone wrecked, and the man's eyes darken. Look impossibly black from across the darkening room.

"Sure Rick." The man says easily.

And then Negan gets up, and crosses the room.

"You like it rough, right?" Negan asks, gaze lazy and sedate. He's towering over Rick. The dark, hard line he presents makes Rick feel dizzy.

Rick finds he can't even answer, even though he doesn't like it rough. He tries not to think about Carl - had realized earlier on that instead of fortifying his guilt and making him be good thoughts of Carl make him overheated and needy.

He gasps when Negan reaches down to weave a hand through his hair and pulls hard. He's sure a frown mars his face even as he arches up into the touch, butts his head against Negan's palm.

" _More_." Rick begs in a whine, voice high and thready.

Rick would flush in humiliation if he had any blood available. Instead he chokes heavily on his tears. Closes his eyes.

"Come on sweetheart." Negan murmurs dangerously. He yanks Rick up by his hair, turns him around and bends him over the couch. He tugs Rick's jeans down and for a second Rick thinks that - until a hand smacks across his bottom.

He squirms against the man, makes little frustrated noises in his throat. Rick isn't thinking straight. A flurry of smacks rain down and Rick can only grip the back of the couch to keep himself grounded. There are steady whines coming out of his throat.

Rick's wet, and he knows this, but somehow it doesn't seem important until Negan's drawing his hand away after a low smack and it's covered in slick.

"So fucking wet." he growls.

Just the words have Rick moaning and canting forward, trying to put his hips in contact with something - anything. Rick shuts his eyes tightly against the overwhelming shame, the humiliation and self loathing.

What would Carl think.

Negan spins him around and before Rick knows it he's spread out on the couch, legs strewn to either side, clothing discarded. Rick shuts his eyes against the onslaught. Negan's ruthless in his approach, fingers pressing insistently at Rick, getting him ready. Eventually though they still.

"Rick." Negan says.

It's only when he says it again that Rick realizes he's waiting for him to respond. Rick's already reaching for him before his eyes are open. When they do open the look Negan is giving him makes his stomach flip.

It's not unkind, it's a little surprised. The hardness in his eyes has softened.

"You don't like it rough, Rick?" Negan asks, reaches out to wipe at the tears cascading down Rick's cheek.

Rick was crying before, so he isn't sure what Negan means. How Negan realized. But it's true, Rick doesn't like it rough.

"Hey," Negan soothes when Rick whimpers. "That's okay."

"I-I need-" Rick chokes out, because he does need - desperately. He reaches out to grasp lightly at Negan's shirt, tugs on it.

Negan's hands are gentle when they push Rick to lie flat on the couch. He kneels beside him, arm across Rick's chest like a strong, warm band as it holds him down from where he can't help but squirm. His other hand wraps around Rick's dick. Rick remembers what Negan said _tiny omega dick_ and feels humiliation engulf him.

Negan's large hand dwarfs him completely.

Rick's breath catches and he struggles futilely against Negan's grasp. He isn't really trying to get away, he just needs more and isn't sure how to get it.

"That good Rick?" Negan asks.

"no- you- _please_ \- please- I need-" Rick's whole body shivers.

"It'd be easier if I fucked you." Negan says, and it sounds reluctant. "Once you get some cum in you it'll be more manageable."

Rick groans at the suggestion, starts panting and he can't stop himself.

" _please_..."

"Sure Rick, you just leave it to me." And then Negan is up and away, calmly undoing his belt.

Rick can't help but reach for him again, only he reaches too far and upends himself onto the floor. He hits his knee, the injured one, but it doesn't even matter. He's too far gone to really feel it. Negan's hands are at his shoulders then, righting him. Rick shudders when Negan's undone fly comes into his view.

Rick pitches forward and buries his face there. Negan's hard, and the outline of his girth presses into Rick's cheek.

"Aw..f-fuck." It's the first time Rick's heard Negan sound anything even close to unsteady.

He leans back to take in the man and Rick's blood pounds faster at the sight. Negan even looks unsteady - eyes unfocused, one hand reaching out as if to touch Rick's head only to stutter back, expression flitting between uncertain and something darkly predatory. There's the linchpin of anger there too but Rick doesn't think about it, can't understand it.

"P-please can I?" he asks, neck craned upward in his attempt to catch Negan's gaze.

"No." Negan bites out but as their eyes meet he doesn't move, as if he's caught on something.

" _Negan_." Rick whimpers out, hands coming to curl weakly at the man's thighs. "Please Negan, please. Please let me."

Negan reaches out to rest a hand on Rick's shoulder, like he's overcome. There's a hard look in his eyes though.

"That won't help nearly as much Rick, won't hold you over until Carl gets here."

"O-oh." Rick says weakly, he'd forgotten about Carl. It feels like there isn't enough space there for the thought. Negan's so large in front of him, filling up his vision and his mind. "I-I love Carl."

"I know Rick." Negan says plainly, brings his hands to cover Rick's and pries them away.

"C-Carl's my- he's...everything." Rick says dreamily, pantingly, nuzzles his face forward hard. " _please_ please let me. Carl let me."

"He did, huh?" Negan asks a little breathlessly, touches the side of Rick's face tentatively.

Rick turns into the touch, tipping his head up to look. Negan cradles Rick's face and soothes his thumb down the side of it.

"I won't hurt you." Rick pants. "Please Negan please. Please let me suck it."

Negan sits down on the couch then, heavily as if his limbs are made of lead. He sprawls and Rick wastes no time fitting himself between his legs. Rick's hands are unsteady, trying to get Negan out. The clothing is in the way and in the end Rick can only bare Negan's member by pulling it through his boxers. 

When Rick looks up Negan's looking down at him. Then Negan reaches down to brush some hair out of Rick's face and Rick doesn't bother to stop the strangled, high pitched moan that escapes him.

Rick leans up and kisses him then, runs his fingers through Negan's slick hair just to make it stick up.

"Rick." Negan growls and it goes straight to the base of Rick's spine.

Rick can't wait any longer.

He noses his way down Negan's fully clothed chest and stomach before pressing a chaste kiss to the side of his dick. He grabs it and holds it up, runs the tip of it over his lips before giving the head a firm lick. He licks it all the way to the base then, leaving small choked off moans in his wake. He keeps licking, slowly, from tip to root until the whole thing is wet with his spit.

When he sits back to take Negan in the man's teeth are bared, knuckles white clenched against the couch. They lock eyes and Rick doesn't look away when he leans back in to slowly take the whole thing - head first until inch after inch slowly disappears into his mouth. He has a moment where he almost chokes when the head butts into the back of his throat but then he readjusts himself and gets it all the way down.

He bobs, just the tiniest bit. It makes a short, faint squelching noise. It makes Rick pulse between his legs.

He wishes Negan knew how good he was making him feel.

Negan brings a hand down to run it through his hair and Rick can't help it - he tries to speak, to say Negan's name.

"N-ugukun" It comes out muffled, gargled and wet.

Negan groans lowly though and Rick is sure everywhere on his body is on fire. He knows he must be bright red.

" _Fuck_. Do that again Rick."

Negan pulls out a little and his thighs stiffen, as if he's trying hard not to fuck forward.

But then he does, nudging his dick forward slowly, pushing the slobber gathering in Rick's mouth out onto his dick.

"Nguhkun" Rick sighs, nuzzling forward, taking him deeper. He swallows around him, tries not to make such a mess with his spit.

The pace Negan sets is slow and cautious. Thrusts careful.

It's a slow progression of speed. Rick loves the fingers running softly through his hair, the low encouraging noises Negan makes. Rick keeps saying his name, or keeps trying to, around the dick lodged in his throat.

By the time it picks up - and Negan must be close because he's not as careful, jams his dick in harder each time - Rick is about to lose it. He's sure he's whimpering around the thick girth pumping in and out of his mouth.

"Nu-uh-gn" Rick starts, can't stop himself from saying the words, "uh-uh-luughvu-"

Negan shoves him back then and in the next second there's cum spurting onto Rick's face.

"I love you." Rick says plainly.

"Come for me Rick." Negan growls, and Rick does. He rests his head on Negan's thigh afterward while Negan pets through his hair.

"Thank you Negan." he says.

 

 

 

The heat drains as quickly as it came on. So fast it makes Rick's head spin. It's probably when he moves to cover himself that Negan clues in. Rick pales, begins to tremble and can't help it. Negan tucks himself in, reaches down as if to help Rick up and stops when he flinches back.

Negan clears his throat, voice sex roughened and a little awkward, as he gets up off the couch.

"I'll go find your fucking loverboy personally Rick, before the next one comes."

Rick doesn't respond, can't.

Negan continues, filling the silence.

"I know what you're thinking - next one? _Shit_. - well Eugene told me it was going to be just the rest of it all at once but judging from how quick you changed from hot to cold I'm guessing that's not the case. Never known him to be wrong but..." Negan trails off as if he's run out of inanity to fill the void with.

They're quiet for a long minute.

"H-he won't want me now." Rick says weakly. He isn't saying it to Negan.

The man's boots invade Rick's line of vision, just like the first time they met. He crouches down and Rick steadfastly doesn't meet his eyes.

"You can't help what you are Rick."

"a whore?" Rick spits bitterly.

Negan's silence is telling.

"He should have fucking been here then, shouldn't've he?" Negan finally bites out.

He drops a blanket at Rick's feet on his way out.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

 

 

 

His knee hurts, is the first thing he thinks of. _Good_ is the second.

There isn't anyway to redeem himself from this. Anyway to deny what he's done. He's cheated on Carl, his _son_.

He doesn't know how he's going to get any of that back.

He knows Carl stopped being his son a while ago. And it makes it worse, because once lover is gone there isn't anything left. He'll have nothing left to offer Carl. Carl won't want him.

The tears he cries are bitter.

Rick wonders why Carl never came. And hadn't Carl said he'd at least give him a chance to beg?

A fear strikes Rick then. Rick _knows_ Carl isn't that cruel, he wouldn't stay away on purpose. Even though Rick knows he'll leave once he finds out he knows to the depth of his soul Carl would never be cruel enough to orchestrate such a feat in the first place.

It gets him up and moving. He puts on his clothes, has a little trouble with the pant leg. His knee is stiff and a little swollen.

He wipes the cum and spit from around his mouth and on his face which is hot with shame. His hands shake as he does it and he feels sick in the pit of his stomach.

Rick doesn't believe Negan lied, about trying to fetch Carl, so it must be that something happened.

He goes out to leave but the guard stationed at the front door stops him. And then Eugene is coming up to the steps, looks unerringly awkward as he steps up to greet him.

"Rick." Eugene says in salutation.

Rick can only nod.

"I told Negan whenever it hit that would be the end but he wanted me to come and check you out."

"Carl - " Rick protests, voice hoarse. He hates the way he sounds.

"Their convoy is just getting in. I saw him at the gate." Eugene's expression holds something anxious as he says it.

The information stuns Rick such that when Eugene pushes him softly back into the house he goes without complaint.

After Eugene closes the door from prying ears is when he starts speaking.

"I told him the heat would last longer. It should have. But we're kind of in unchartered territory."

Rick slips down into the couch, doesn't hear what else Eugene says because he starts to cry again in earnest.

 

 

 

Negan knew he was too angry. Knew it by the way people were falling all over themselves to clear a path for him. A thick rage was stewing.

Everything was fucking ruined.

The thought made him chuckle desolately and he thought darkly of Rick's big blue eyes looking searchingly up at him as he gurgled around Negan's cock, fingers timidly caressing Negan's thighs. It wasn't like it was an unfamiliar sight. Hell, Negan's wives sucked him off at least every Tuesday. It shouldn't fucking effect him.

_I love you._

Spattered with cum, dick out, looking like he'd just been boinked six ways from Sunday.

What a fucking _joke_.

"Where the fuck is Carl?" Negan barks when he comes up on the convoy, someone points further on down.

The very straggled sight of them calms him a little. Of course something had went wrong. Still, though, Negan had gotten the message to Carl right away. It should have been an easy matter for Carl to extract himself from the situation and come back, he couldn't have been that far out.

Unless Rick was right. That Carl was _punishing_ him.

Negan can hardly bring himself to believe it, leaving Rick like that had been dangerous, though it reinforces what he knows.

Alphas are fucking monsters.

His rage takes a new direction then. Spills over until it feels like it's untenable. Negan's always had anger issues, has had problems controlling it. He counts backwards from ten and blows out a breath. Carl pops into view then, among the trucks. He's walking stiffly and there's blood on his thigh. His face is set in determination.

If anything, it _rankles_ Negan.

"Where the fuck have you been?" he growls as he stalks up to him.

"I need to get to Rick." is all that comes out of the young man's mouth, he hardly spares Negan a glance before Negan gets in his way.

"Oh I fucking took care of it. His heat is finished." For now, Negan doesn't add.

That brings Carl up short, he looks stunned - as if he had believed Rick was capable of waiting for him.

Fucking _chump_ Negan thinks.

He's really angry all around. It reflects in Carl's face.

"You look like you just swallowed a bucket of piss." Negan can't help but wheedle, face tight with rage, "I fu-"

" _You_..." Carl growls lowly, looks like he's going to try and lay Negan out any minute.

Negan gets right up into his space.

"No - _you_. I fucking covered for you. Told your pathetic whore of a mate that I delayed the message to you to buy you a couple hours. Never in a fucking _million_ years would I have believed you were so monumentally stupid as to fucking _abandon_ him."

For a second his degradation of Rick makes Negan sick in the pit of his stomach. The hot anger swells up to burn it away though. Rage that feels uncontrollable - and for a second, just a second, Negan wishes he would have taken it out on Rick, would have fucked him until he couldn't walk straight, until Negan's name was the only fucking thing he could remember and he would have made him scream it.

Negan refocuses and thinks of Rick again - the sheer amount of worry and anxiety he'd been exuding, the sweet - and Negan did hate it, he fucking hated _sweet_ things when they weren't related to his daughter he swore - way Rick retracted at vulgarity, the equal parts shy and defiant way he made Negan supper as if daring him to hate it and worried he really would.

The dark impulse passes.

Of course Carl still wants Rick. Negan has zero doubts about that, even if Rick can't see it. The fact sours Negan's stomach, and it isn't just because of Rick's sad self imposed grief.

Negan has to remind himself he hates everything that Rick stands for anyway. He certainly doesn't fucking want the man. Rick is there for one purpose only.

Carl looks chastised.

"What did you do?" Carl's voice sounds grainy, but the anger has drained out of it.

"His mouth." Negan bites out, resists adding _I fucked it_.

Can't resist snapping out, "Take it easy on him" though.

 

 

 

Heat - Carl can work with. It's underhanded and makes him feel a little sick but he knows he can get Rick to forgive him easier.

He'd never meant for any of it to happen.

Only he's lying a little bit because he'd known if Rick couldn't wait - but Carl hadn't expected to be gone so long. He knew, though, that he wouldn't make the first part, had expected there'd be someone nearby to keep Rick from doing anything dangerous.

In the back of his mind, he knew it'd probably be Negan.

He'd made a promise to Rick that the man wouldn't touch him, and he'd failed.

Carl _hated_ it and for a second he hated Rick a little too. His selfless father with his too big blue eyes and that expression he wore that said he knew Carl could and should do better.

Carl stayed because if he hadn't Negan's glaringly inexperienced men were going to die. Carl was supposed to be teaching them. Only they'd been attacked on all sides almost as soon as they'd left sight of the encampment. There had been hostages taken. They had wanted omegas.

By the end of it all Carl had only managed to save around half of the hostages but they'd managed to take out almost all of the roving party save for a few that fled. There had been a moment, when the messenger first came, that Carl knew he could return and he'd almost - instead he'd asked for Negan to come, so they could switch out.

Negan never came and Carl only confirmed the reason on their way back when they found the messenger shot dead in the road.

Carl thinks about the words he said before he left. He'd had hours to think of it on the way back.

He thinks of his exchange with Negan. He should feel angry, and he had, but now he just feels tired. If Negan hadn't seemed so perversely contrite and protective of Rick Carl knows he would feel differently. He sees the danger in it. Knows they should get out as soon as possible, curses the fact he's injured himself. Carl steadfastly doesn't think about the _Judith_ thing and it's easy, because his guilt about Rick seems to swallow everything else up anyway.

Underneath, though, is a hot pulse of cupidity - a possessiveness so all encompassing it threatens to drown Carl.

When he arrives at home, limping, blood slipping down his thigh, he's a little relieved when he's met on the porch by Eugene - Negan's omega specialist, as the man had called him.

Carl _wants_ Rick, but he's really not in any condition to satiate a heat, so he's a little relieved when the man tells him that's it for now.

Well, he's relieved right up until he opens the door and hears Rick's thudding, halting sobs.

"Rick." He says, but it isn't really until Carl is standing over him that Rick looks up and sees him.

He looks wretched, and Carl can admit - _arousing_. There's a little bit of cum in his hair, from where he missed it on what looks to have been a hasty cleanup and his mouth looks sore and used, red. But he doesn't look hurt. He looks on edge, repentant, and a little scared but not _hurt_.

Carl lists towards him, as if to kiss him - maybe he really means to. He isn't sure, although he certainly wants to. Rick reels back then, stutters out a little sentence that makes him blush and choke on his tears all at once.

"I-I haven't brushed my teeth Carl."

He's got Negan inside his mouth.

The fact of it makes Carl hotly angry, makes that possessively dominating thing inside of him rear it's ugly head because _nothing_ is going to come between them. Carl doesn't know what he's going to do.

It's then that Rick sees his leg, and that's probably the thing that assuages the angry thing inside him - keeps it at bay.

"You're hurt." Rick chokes out, eyebrows drawn up earnestly. "L-let me-"

Rick doesn't finish his sentence, gets up and pushes Carl down onto the couch. He's gone in the next moment but then he's back with a first aid kit. His expression tense as he works Carl's pants off, pushes the leg of his boxers up to get at the cut.

It's better than it looks. It's a gash, around 5 inches in length from where Carl slid along the roof of a van and caught. Rick cleans it, and Carl watches the intense focus on his face, thinks _this_ hazily before Rick presses a kiss to it after pressing on the butterfly stitches.

Rick looks drained. His face ashen and fretful. Carl gives him a tug, and Rick follows. Presses himself into Carl's side.

"Touch yourself for me." Carl says, eager to re-establish his claim.

"Carl-" Rick says, serious, like he means to tell him something.

Carl uses the last of his remaining energy to lean over and undo Rick's jeans, to take Rick in hand. Rick's hard almost immediately.

And Rick is _so easy_. Carl only has to press his thumb to the tip of Rick's dick to have him making little whimpering noises and shooting hard.

It's only at Rick's unbearably sad and shamed face that Carl realizes he said that out loud. Carl tilts Rick's head and kisses his hair on the side where it's clean to let Rick know he doesn't mean it like that. He snuggles into him.

"I'll make it up to you." He says, right before he falls asleep. He's talking about breaking his promise about Negan and he's talking about his harsh words but mostly he's talking about not fucking being there.

Carl only wakes briefly in the night when Rick paws at him and tells him to lean over so they can give him a tetanus shot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

 

 

 

In the morning when Carl wakes up, Rick hasn't seemed to have moved an inch. He's tucked stiffly beneath Carl's arm, and he still hasn't properly cleaned up.

"Rick." Carl tries.

Rick startles quietly but doesn't look at him, tilts his head down like he's ashamed. His pallor is a little alarming.

"I shouldn't-" Rick begins. "Carl-I-"

"Are you hurt?" Carl asks, suddenly alarmed, pulls back.

He turns Rick to him and finally Rick looks at him. Rick's big eyes begin to water and Carl feels a pulse of heat at the sight. Rick blows out a shaky breath.

"I cheated on you."

After it's said Rick ducks his head, makes a low sort of hurt noise in his throat.

It's when he tries to get up and away that Carl grabs him by a belt loop and roughly yanks him down, a breathless huffing laugh spilling from his lips.

"Rick." Carl tries again when Rick doesn't turn to face him. "Dad."

That gets his attention.

"I-I-" Rick tries to get out, before bursting into tears.

"shhh" Carl soothes as he draws Rick to him so they're snuggled back to chest. "You didn't....cheat."

"I did Carl - you don't understand -"

"I do. I know what happened." The words almost stick in Carl's throat. "I left you too long, even though I knew. It's like you said, it's nature."

Carl holds no delusions, if it weren't nature - if Rick had had a choice - Carl knows he never would have stood a chance that first time. And if Carl had had a choice, he never would have pinned Rick down and made him cry.

Rick turns to him, looks stunned at Carl's admission, all wide eyed and sweet. Big blue eyes, pink cheeks, sweaty little curls with cum in them. 

Rick sees Carl looking and ghosts a hand up in horror, shamed when he realizes.

Rick swallows - and Carl maybe feels a little bad about that but his dick twitches at the sight - but then he just looks at Carl in awe.

"You forgive me." He says, stricken.

"Nothing to forgive Rick." Carl's not being generous, but that's what Rick takes it as. "I want to fuck you."

Neither of them say anything for a moment. Carl's predatory and expectant stare against Rick's confused reluctance. Rick's frowning.

"Carl-"

"I don't want to hear anymore about it. It's done. Now are you going to get in my lap and fuck yourself down on my dick?"

Carl wishes like hell he wasn't injured. Rick downright blushes at that and hides his face. It charms Carl, that he still gets shy sometimes.

"No. We'd jostle your leg too much, we can't." Rick says, all concern and embarrassment.

"You're saying that because you wanna use your mouth don't you?" Carl teases meanly.

Rick's eyes snap to his at that, brow furrowed and hurt, and Carl can admit it's maybe an unfair accusation. Rick's always put him first.

"You can go ahead and use your slutty fucking mouth." Carl cards his fingers through Rick's hair, "I want to be rough."

Rick stills. Carl's rough, but he never announces it. Carl's not sure he can be gentle though, given the circumstances. He feels out of control. And it isn't Rick's fault - Carl _knows_ that - but it doesn't stop that burning impulse in his gut.

Rick slides to the floor, carefully positions himself so Carl's injured thigh is steady and untouched. Then he looks up to Carl for direction. When there is none, Rick swallows heavily and reaches forward to expose Carl with delicate little touches.

Carl shifts.

Rick leans forward and he almost has the tip in his mouth when he looks up at Carl questioningly, as if to ask 'is this okay?' like he's unsure. Carl wishes Rick was just teasing him but he knows Rick is genuinely worried for him and it tears something in his chest.

Carl's dick nudges at Rick's mouth and as soon as Rick opens a little - enough that it can fit - he drags Rick forward and rams it all the way down his throat.

He doesn't let up. Controls every movement so he has all the power and Rick has none. He fucks into Rick's mouth over and over and over.

"He told me to take it easy on you." Carl pants, "He was gentle with you, wasn't he?"

He pulls Rick off him abruptly. Almost fucks back in when he sees Rick's mouth chase his dick minutely. Rick looks up at him then, a little desperate.

"He was gentle, wasn't he? you liked it?"

"y-yeah." Rick says breathlessly.

"You know why I'm rough with you Rick?" Carl asks earnestly, "because I know you can _take it_."

Rick straight up moans at that, leans forward to take Carl again and Carl has to stop him with a firm hand.

"Can you take it, Rick? Do you want it?"

"Y-yes, _please_ Carl." Rick begs, mouth red.

Carl wants to hear it again. Only, Carl's wound has reopened at little, and if he doesn't get Rick's face back on his dick he risks Rick seeing. So when Rick leans forward to take him again he lets him. He lets Rick control the pace until Rick is making little dissatisfied noises and tugging Carl's hands back into his hair.

He huffs, then acquiesces. Goes back to his rough, punishing pace.

When he finally comes he pulls out to paint Rick's face.

Rick looks _wrecked_. He's panting, cheeks a deep rosy red, bruised lips slick with spit. Best of all, there's a wet spot growing at his crotch where he's come untouched. He rests his head against Carl's leg and Carl runs his fingers through his hair.

It's then that Rick sees the little bit of blood peeking through the bandage.

"Carl-" he starts, sounds scandalized.

"It doesn't really hurt." Carl assures firmly and is gratified to see Rick relax a little, "It can bleed a little. You can change the bandage after you get cleaned up."

Rick gets up immediately, unsteady and flinching, bearing full weight on one leg, and suddenly Carl realizes he's hurt.

"Rick."

"What?" Rick asks, startling, "I-I'm going to get cleaned up."

"Your leg."

Rick looks down at his leg, as if to understand better what Carl is talking about. Which is ridiculous.

"It's not important."

"Did he-" Carl asks tightly, but his growing rage is abruptly cut off.

"No. It's when...it happened when we argued."

"Let me see." He chokes out but Rick is already moving away.

"I need to get clean so we can change your bandages. It's not...it's nothing, Carl."

"Let me see first." His voice is stern enough to draw Rick back.

Rick blushes as he exposes his swollen knee to him.

"See, Carl? It's nothing."

Carl prods gently, makes plans to get a knee brace.

"It's not nothing." He says as Rick leaves the room.

 

 

 

It's three days before Rick sees Negan again.

Rick is making supper, because he's been ordered to, even if Negan hasn't been showing up.

Rick startles, because Negan is quiet, and he doesn't know how long the man has been watching him from the doorway. His face heats to an alarming scorch and Rick finds he can't get a hold of himself. Can hardly bear to look in Negan's direction, so raw is the thought of what Rick has done with this man.

"N-Negan." he says in greeting.

"Really, Rick? You're not even going to look at me?" Negan's tone is quiet, a little soft. He thuds the head of Lucille against the floor restlessly.

Rick takes a moment to stop stirring, to turn and face Negan and meet his eyes.

Rick's courage doesn't last long.

Negan chuckles though, in a dry amusement, when Rick turns away.

"I just don't want it to burn." Rick says in defense, stirring the pot of chili pointedly.

"How's the knee?" Negan asks.

It surprises Rick, that Negan is asking about that, and Rick knows it must show even if he tries very hard not to startle.

He can hear Negan seat himself at the table.

"I know," Negan continues, "You're asking yourself, how can I know?"

Rick tilts his head down and doesn't answer.

"Where'd you think he got the knee brace from Rick?"

Same place Rick got Carl's tetanus shot, Rick supposes. And Rick has a debt of points to make up for that.

"D-does he owe you?" Rick asks.

It doesn't really matter. The points are extras, for all intents and purposes.

"No. He makes a hell of a lot more points than you do."

It's a reminder, that Rick is at the bottom of the totem pole - is an _omega_ , but the lowest rung of omega. He tries not to let it smart, but it does.

Rick hates how he's acting. Timid, only it burns whenever he looks at Negan. Negan, who _knows_ things about him now. Who -

Rick cuts off his train of thought.

"Look," Negan sounds almost apologetic, "I can find you a better job."

"I'm fine." Rick says stubbornly, hoping Negan will drop it.

He does. Although Rick can't avoid him when he sets their plates down. His cheeks feel hot and he's skittish when he sits across from him. And maybe, he's a little angry. Negan has leverage on him now, and Rick has none in return.

"Rick." Negan says after a few minutes, "you can relax."

Rick briefly meets his eyes at that, nods. They eat in silence until Rick gets up to pack the leftovers.

"You sure cooked a lot." Negan says from behind him.

Rick steels himself against the sink. He's been waiting for this moment.

"I-I also cooked enough for Carl." He bites out bravely. Because what sense is there in making two meals per night?

He isn't sure how Negan will respond. He isn't expecting to hear the man get up and cross the room. Fear, or something - a heat, rolls in Rick's gut.

He can feel the heat from Negan's body as he closes in behind him. Rick shifts forward in retreat and then Negan is caging him in against the counter with his arms.

" _Rick Rick Rick_ " Negan says lowly, "Everything you do _here_ is for me. Not Carl. This time slot? It's all _mine_. Do you understand?"

Rick is sure Negan can hear his sharp inhale, but he doesn't comment. Instead he slowly backs off, gives Rick space.

"I asked if you understand Rick?" Negan says lowly, but something about it is off - different, it's as threatening as usual only -

"I understand." Rick says through clenched teeth.

When it's time for Negan to leave his fingers brush slowly over Rick's as he hands him his tupperware and Rick feels it like a shock.

Rick's not proud to say he squirms.

"She likes it, you know." Negan says unexpectedly. "My daughter Judy - she likes your cooking."

Rick can't look up to see his expression - feels like he just can't - but Negan's words sound sincere.

"Maybe I can -" It's a stupid idea, and Rick is only opening himself up for abuse but he says it anyway, "-Maybe I can cook for her sometime."

Rick waits for the proverbial hit but it doesn't come.

"Sure Rick." Negan says, "I think she'd like that."

 

 

 

_I left you too long, even though I knew._

Rick wonders at it. Wonders what it means.

He should just ask, but every time he gathers enough courage he finds it flees the moment he faces Carl.

Maybe it's why Carl didn't eat the spaghetti Rick made for him. And it had used to be his favorite. Maybe, Carl is feeling what he's accused Rick of - feeling that what they are doing is wrong. That Rick has destroyed their family with his lust.

And what does it say about Rick that he doesn't have the energy to regret it? That he just _loves loves loves_ Carl and can't stop?

Rick doesn't bring Judith up. Not yet.

He's irrationally glad that Carl's injury has bought them a little more time. And it's _safe_ here. For Carl. Rick finds he is beginning to actively dread the moment they will have to flee.

He tries not to think about Negan, but of course - it never works.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

 

 

Rick can't deny he's excited. He'd started on three different recipes before abandoning them halfway through and choosing something else.

Luckily at the sight of the gigantic mess Carl had only kissed him, laughing a little, when Rick asked him to use his points to buy more ingredients. And Rick was so covered in flour that when Carl had pulled away from him he'd had a sweet little flour imprint on his face that made Rick smile.

He'd told Carl he was going to Eugene's.

He'd chosen lasagna. Although, standing at the door of a nondescript house Rick finds himself doubting. He worries that the flavors might be too complex - too zesty and too salty - for little taste buds.

He doesn't have time to reflect though because the next moment the door is flying open. Negan stands behind it.

He looks completely different without his boots, jacket and other props. He's wearing a thin, grey sweater and jeans. For the first time Rick has seen he looks something like a normal man. Like a Dad.

Idly the thought runs through Rick's head that Judith must be the sole motivator for Negan's new look. It makes his heart swell a little, that she's so loved.

"Found us okay?" Negan asks.

Rick only nods, making himself meet Negan's gaze. Even if he can't quite keep his cheeks from heating.

It makes sense. That Negan would keep his daughter in a separate place than his sex den full of omegas. That Negan has Rick stationed next door to that sex den - like an extension - is very telling. It had made Rick's heart fall when he first thought of it, but now - faced with the prospect of Judith Rick pushes it out of his mind.

He's really going to see _Judith_.

"Well come in, make yourself comfortable." Negan finally says, reaching out to take the large pan of lasagna from him. Their fingers brush but neither of them acknowledge it.

Rick follows Negan inside a little awkwardly, trailing like a baby duck.

The house is bright and cheerful - tasteful splashes of light blue, white and bright yellow jewel tones. A short hall opens up into a dining room and kitchen combo, just like Rick and Carl's place.

"Didn't have too much originality when they built the place." Negan sighs.

Judith is coloring at the table. She's small and blondish. Face like Lori's. Just looking at her causes Rick's chest to tighten.

"You're the pretty farmer." She says, in her small, childish voice when she finally deigns to look up at them.

"That's right, sweetie. And this pretty farmer brought Daddy some lasagna!" Negan crosses the room and scoops her up.

Judith giggles wildly as Negan pretends to munch into her stomach.

"Papa!! He brought some for me too!" she squeals before Negan puts her down.

Immediately she's crossing the room and reaching for his hand. Like before, Rick just isn't ready. He feels his throat tighten and the tell tale sting of tears in his eyes.

But then the moment passes and she presses her little hand into his and leads him across to the table.

"We should reheat it." Rick says, and even he can tell his voice has gone strained and coarse.

Negan watches him closely.

But then he just says, "sure Rick" and pops the dish in the oven.

"So, you're the 'mega that cooks for us?" Judith says, staring up at Rick with big eyes.

"I-I never said he was an Omega." Negan says from the kitchen, sternly.

It isn't the same hardness. Nothing about Negan resembles how he really is. How he's been with Rick. Judith's mere presence had tamed him. Made him seem harmless and very nearly like something sweet.

"Yes you did Papa." Judith argues in amusement, before turning back to Rick, "Do you like cooking?"

Rick nods, clears his throat, but still - he finds he can't speak.

It doesn't seem to matter to Judith who loops her arm in his and pushes a crayon into his hand.

"You color the sky." She orders, " 'm gonna color the grass."

 

 

 

Later, when Judith is in bed and they are on the porch and Negan is pushing Rick's washed dish into his hands, Rick finally speaks.

"Thank you." It's simple, and the sheer gratefulness in Rick's voice is inappropriate but Rick can't help it.

"You're welcome." Negan says and he doesn't say anything else, looks at his hands.

A thought finally hits Rick then - that Negan probably thinks he lost someone. Negan's trying to be sensitive. Just like that Rick finds himself heating, knows Negan can see the flush when he looks back up at him. It's not like Negan is wrong exactly.

Negan moves slow, languid, towards him.

All he does is pat Rick on the back though and Rick's grateful for that.

"C-Can we do this again?" Rick isn't sure if he's expecting an affirmation but he gets it.

In slow, syrupy, elongated vowels.

"Sure thing Rick."

 

 

 

Rick's too happy to contain himself.

He hasn't felt like this for years.

He kisses Carl with zest before he's properly through the door.

"What's gotten into you?" Carl asks, pulling him back into his arms when Rick fidgets away to kick his boots off.

Rick finds himself smiling against Carl's mouth. He runs his hands through Carl's hair and down his back and Carl makes a content humming noise low in his throat.

" _Carl_." Rick sighs, before resting his head against him.

Carl pulls his head back then, to see him, and Rick can recognize that familiar hunger in Carl's eyes.

"Your leg." Rick says sternly.

Carl pulls him forward abruptly.

"We can still play." He whispers hotly in his ear.

Rick's mouth goes dry.

He doesn't know why he even tries protesting sometimes, they both know he's gonna give in.

But today, he wants something else. He wants to feel loved.

"Can't we - " Rick starts and stops, "Can we just - "

"Rick?" Carl asks, before he tucks a piece of Rick's hair behind his ear.

Rick doesn't know how to ask for it. Maybe something of his distress shows through because Carl's gentle, kisses him chastely, and waits.

"Are you okay?" Carl eventually asks, mouth turned down.

"Can I..?"

"Are you asking if you can be in charge?" Carl asks, expression dipping into amusement.

Rick nods, shortly, heart racing.

"You bet." Carl growls playfully into his ear, " _Dad_."

It's not like Rick isn't cognizant of their relationship to each other every moment of every day but the word makes him feel...off. Makes him feel bad. Carl must see it because his next words correct it.

"Come one Rick I'm waiting. Whatever you want."

Once he's given permission Rick isn't really sure where to start. He's maybe a little too shy. Carl just backs off and waits, still amused.

"Why don't you...sit on the couch?" Rick suggests, a little cowed.

They've done this a lot, there's really no reason for Rick to be nervous. Still, his palms get sweaty.

What's worse is Carl's silence and intense gaze. It makes Rick itch, makes him unsure.

"Do what you would like to do Rick." Carl finally reiterates when Rick falters.

So Rick does. He tampers his trepidation and kneels between Carl's splayed legs. Undoes the button and pulls Carl's pants off. Carl's already hard.

Just the sight causes a pulse of heat to race up Rick's spine.

Rick strips before crawling to kneel over Carl. The angle at least doesn't allow Carl to see all of him. Hides his nakedness.

He grips Carl's dick underneath him and awkwardly pumps it. Carl groans and Rick can feel slick start to accumulate between his legs. They both moan when Rick puts the tip up to his entrance and finally seats himself.

He only lets himself get halfway down before he jerks up and then does it again. And again.

"Fuck." Carl's breathy exclamation is a sharp counterpoint to his grip on Rick's hips.

But he lets Rick do as he pleases, even though he badly wants to take control. Rick pumps himself up and down, never fully impaling himself.

He grabs Carl's hands from his hips and puts one on his throat, one in his hair.

"g-gently." Rick gasps and Carl acquiesces. Strokes him like he's precious.

"Can you please get all the way on my cock?" Carl's trying to keep the growl out of his voice but it peaks through.

"Your...your l-leg." Rick explains breathlessly.

Carl makes a noise of protest but doesn't say anything more. Suddenly Rick feels like he can't get enough, whimpers as he speeds up.

Rick's going fast, legs sore from pumping himself up and down and trying not to let Carl take his weight, and neither of them will be able to last long. Rick comes first. Carl slips out and Rick goes to push Carl's dick back inside but only manages to lodge the head back in before Carl comes all messy inside him and over Rick's hand.

"Please say you're going to lick that up." Carl intones darkly.

Rick does. Brings the hand to his mouth and licks a stripe up the palm, full of sticky cum. It's bitter on his tongue, makes him feel wanton.

"I'd do anything for you." Rick says.

"I love how slutty you are." Carl says back.

And the words are so similar and maybe that's why Rick responds without thinking.

"I love you too Carl."

Of course once he realizes he immediately feels foolish. Feels a little heartsick and - _whorish_.

But then Carl pulls him into an embrace and lays kisses on the side of his face.

"I love the fuck out of you too Dad." he says, sighing.

Carl falls asleep perched against him.

Carl's admission of love should make Rick feel better but somehow he can't get that word out of his mind. _Slutty_. He doesn't want to be slutty. Doesn't want Carl to see him that way even if he is.

He's fallen in Carl's estimation. He had to have. Or Carl wouldn't have left him so readily when he needed him.

It unsettles Rick.

His mind wanders to Negan and how gentle the man is with him.

It's a dangerous place to go, even for a fantasy.

It gets tangled up in Rick's mind.

He thinks of being touched, kissed and taken. Thinks of Negan's soft touches and Carl crooning sweet words in his ear. Thinks of one holding him down while the other-

He thinks of them _both_ and he feels dirtier than when he started.

He wonders if he is just a slut after all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

 

 

"I need to talk to my second in command." Just like that the men scatter from where they'd all been shooting the shit at the gate.

Negan - the very sight of him makes Carl tense.

"Negan." He nods shortly at the man.

"I have a proposition." He says.

"What's that?" Carl asks, without hesitation.

"That's why I like you. Straight to the point." Negan chuckles darkly, but it's humorless. "Amber's been asking about you."

"I don't know who that is." Carl replies blandly.

"You met her. My wife, the pretty blonde one - particularly young?"

"We've discussed this before." Carl intones, turns to look out the gate where walkers are moaning pitifully. "I don't care to 'get to know' your wives."

"We have discussed that, yes. Not this. Like I said this is a proposition." The way Negan says it, it doesn't seem like he holds out much hope for it being accepted.

Carl has a feeling he knows where this is going, and he doesn't like it at all.

"It's your lucky day. What else could a strapping, young Alpha want but a pliable young Omega? You realize - I wouldn't be offering on her behalf but you've proven yourself. Not with Rick mind you but I have hope for you yet. As for me...Rick - well, what can I say about Rick?" Negan smarms, over the top, and Carl wants to viciously hit him across the face, "sucks dick like a champ. What do you say?"

Carl can feel his blood pressure rise.

"No."

Negan stiffens unhappily but he doesn't look surprised.

"It'd be for the best Carl. For all of us."

"I said no." He repeats firmly.

"Kid-" Negan begins before Carl cuts him off.

"Did you think undervaluing him would tempt me to think less of him?" Carl hisses out.

"Are you fucking _kidding me_?" Negan snipes back, bites out, "Fucking undervaluing him - like you didn't. What the fuck is this? You want more than Amber? Fuck, it was her idea anyway."

"Rick is _mine_." Carl says behind clenched teeth.

Negan bares his.

"Say the word and it's yours." Negan continues, a little desperately, "Whatever you want."

"What would make you think I don't want him." Carl asks, dangerous and low and for the first time Negan seems to take this into account.

His attitude changes then.

"I don't know Carl," Negan snarks back angrily, "Could it be the fact you abandoned him? Or maybe that you treat him like he's nothing more than a blow up doll to stick your dick in?"

" _Fuck you_! I do not. If anything that's you. Rick _knows_ \- " Carl's too furious to continue.

"He doesn't. Whatever you think he knows, he fucking _doesn't._ " Negan goes quiet then, expression petering out into something deadly and serious, "I didn't say you didn't want him. But we both know he'd be better off with me."

"That's never gonna happen." Carl sneers desperately, "Especially not with your harem of wives."

 _Not Ever in fact_ , Carl thinks firmly.

He expects Negan to get defensive or concede. So it's worrying when the man straightens, smiles like the cat who caught the canary and says, "Well that's only a matter of time."

 

 

 

Carl has to wait for Rick to get home from his outing with Negan.

The very gall of Negan suggesting he trade Rick for Amber astounds him.

Rick - there is no one more perfect or lovely than Rick. Carl will not give him up for anything. But - Carl can admit it isn't exactly his choice to make. Resents Negan for not recognizing that. Not recognizing how strong Rick is just because he hasn't seen him in action like Carl has.

Still the thought that he may not be Rick's first choice shakes him.

That he could _lose_ Rick. That Rick might not want to be him. And why should he? Carl is young, inexperienced, flawed and most importantly - Rick's son.

The thought scalds him.

It worries him too, to hear that particular doubt - about Rick's heat - expressed from Negan's own mouth. Him and Rick haven't really talked about why Carl didn't come back. Carl has just assumed Rick already knew.

That Rick would know nothing would stand between them if it weren't - Carl never would have stayed only he knows he wouldn't be able to look Rick in the face after. Knows Rick would have been astoundingly disappointed with him.

Carl has been so busy making sure Rick feels okay, assuring him that Carl knows he didn't cheat, that Carl's maybe been slacking in other areas.

He loves Rick, though - more than _anything_. Surely Rick knows that.

And Judy - is just a momentary lapse, a moment of unsure insanity. Carl can give him that, at the very least.

 

 

 

Rick finally gets back to work. Only when he shows up at the barn he's told that he has to report to Eugene for the day. He's assured he'll be compensated with more points.

It's a little condescending, given Negan and Rick's last exchange.

Still, Rick can't help but feel the warmth of the gesture, feels his face heat.

"How are you feeling?" Eugene asks, seeming to expect him.

"Fine. I'm - fine." Rick's aware he hadn't exactly been put together the last time they'd crossed paths.

Thinks about the _cum in his hair_ and feels his cheeks flame. Eugene though, doesn't make the slightest reference to it, and for that Rick is glad.

He helps the man with his work up until about the last hour. It's easy work - moving boxes and filling out forms.

"um - " Eugene starts, reluctant, "I was hoping to get some of your blood."

"What?" Rick asks, a little startled.

"It's just for - it's just to test this thing I'm doing. I can't tell you what it is." Eugene looks nervous, but that's not unusual. "In exchange - I have some...that is, I have some suppressants."

And just like that it slips into dangerous territory.

"Negan said I can't have those." Rick says dumbly.

Like they both don't know that.

Rick pulls up his sleeve.

"I don't know how long it will take them to fail. But seeing as you haven't been around the other omegas too much I'm optimistic for at least two months -" Eugene babbles but Rick doesn't care.

Because he needs them - in case next month Carl doesn't come.

 

 

 

Rick feels ambivalent about the suppressants tucked into his pocket. They burn a hole in his pocket all through dinner with Negan. Judy is away having a sleep over with friends.

"Did you enjoy today?" Negan asks over the hamburger-helper type monstrosity Rick has dug up.

It reminds him that he was brought to Eugene on Negan's orders.

"I told you I didn't want to be moved." Rick says, because it's true.

The points help maybe, but it'd felt nice to work in the barn - to have control over at least one thing in his life.

"Rick," Negan says, put upon, laying his fork down, "Omega's shouldn't be doing that shit work in the first place. I apologize for that."

"I'm not helpless," Rick starts, and nervously tucks a stray curl behind his ear, "Carl and I were out there a long time."

"What does Carl mean to you?" Negan asks, point blank.

Rick heats under his scrutiny.

He can only tell the truth.

"Everything." He says, as Negan wilts.

Something in his face turns ugly.

"Right. Of fucking course." He growls out.

Rick finds himself wanting to soothe, because despite everything he likes him. He likes Negan.

In fact he...

 _I love you_ he'd said, and just the reminder of the circumstances have Rick twisting in his seat. He likes to think Negan has - at least - come to like him too.

But they can't.

"I want you to leave Rick." Negan says, deep in his throat, and it ratches up the tension in the room until it's nearly unbearable, "Before I say something we'll both regret."

Rick can't help but pale at that.

He leaves quietly.

 

 

 

Carl is waiting for him. And that at least makes him smile.

Carl's hands are all over him - which isn't unusual. What is unusual is the intent of them. They ghost over him without pulling at his clothes, without pressing indecently.

Instead Carl's hands continue their slow journey around his torso and across his shoulders.

"Carl?" Rick asks, with some amusement.

Carl smiles up at him but it's a little sad. As soon as Carl starts speaking - faltering and weighted - Rick is blindsided.

"I didn't come home because I knew if I did... I wouldn't be the man you wanted to see. I was going to leave those men to die but all I could see was your face and how heartbroken it would be if you knew what I did. But - it was the wrong choice and I - "

"It wasn't the wrong choice." Rick says, heart in his throat, tears pricking his eyes.

Just like that it clicks - makes sense and Rick can feel the weight of his doubt lifting. Carl winds his arms around him then, and holds him tightly.

"I did it for you." Carl says quietly.

And this is his boy. Carl has always been too good. Rick can barely get his voice under control enough to speak.

"You did good." He says, and, "I'm proud."

Rick basks in his embrace and for a moment or two they're silent.

"Am I a bad Alpha?" Carl asks, small and subdued.

Suddenly this is Carl as a child, Carl unsure and Carl self doubting. Rick hates that Carl feels that way.

" _No_." Rick assures him, vehemently.

"I hurt you." Carl counters.

"That was rut." Rick insists.

"I know. But since then. I-if even _Negan_ can see it..." Just as suddenly Carl the predator, who sends tingles up Rick's spine, is back - watching him closely, "I need you to tell me what you need Rick and I need you to be honest."

Rick can't help but feel scolded. He brings a hand to his face in pure embarrassment.

" _Carl_..." he says, because he isn't sure he can voice it.

"Okay." Carl says, and withdraws. Rick's fingers grasp after him.

"Carl..." he whines again.

"If you want affection that's fine." Carl exhales, and they're so close Rick feels a shiver starting at the base of his spine, "If you want sex...then we need to communicate."

"I..." Rick begins and his voice fails so he has to regroup, "I don't know if I can."

"That's fine." Carl smiles at him, warmth in it, "It's not like I didn't grow up knowing you have a little trouble. But we have to work on this first."

It puts Rick out.

He finds he's a little astounded.

"But _Carl_ -"

"I'm not - withholding. I'll be here for your heat. I'll be here for everything else. And I'll be here when you decide you're ready." The tone brooks no arguments.

"What if...I beg?" Rick asks, ducking his head.

But Carl just says, "it's not about that."

 

 

 

Rick doesn't know why it's so difficult to just ask for Carl's assurance that he isn't...that Carl doesn't think he's...a _whore_. Maybe it's because he's afraid of hearing the lie in his voice.

He also doesn't know why he can't just ask for reassurance of Carl's love. But Rick supposes he's always had that particular problem - even with Lori.

 

 

 

Carl - for all intents and purposes - has had a fire lit under him. It starts with the thought that he's not losing Rick to Negan but it ends with the realization that he's been a piece of shit - a bad Alpha.

Because for all his brain wracking, Carl still doesn't quite know what exactly he's missing.

He thought they were golden, in heaven, so in love they couldn't keep their hands off of each other. He pointedly doesn't think about his rut.

It hurts to be proven so wrong.

He has to make do with his fist that night. It doesn't compare. He has to picture Rick kneeling with his mouth hanging open ready to accept Carl's load for it to work.

Rick with his flushed face and the forever shy tip of his head and those moments when he gets overheated, when he forgets himself, and everything he _needs_ is Carl.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

 

This is goodbye. By the time you're reading this I'll already be gone.

I'm sorry guys, I love all of you! And thank you for reading. Your comments kept me warm at night.

I've been recently having concerns about doxxing etc. which is why I have to purge all my accounts. I want to use this as a reminder to keep safe out there online and - to sound paranoid - check into using TOR so your internet service provider doesn't log everywhere you've been or maybe a VPN or something. Heck if even one of you tapes over your webcam I'll consider it a job well done. Blackmail and harassment aren't pretty things so stay safe!

We're all here because of love of fandom and fantasy, to us its a harmless past time but not something we necessarily want others knowing about. We deserve that privacy, although we don't always get it. So I hope you understand and I love the community I've found here. You gave me a place to fit in.

Once again, thank you sincerely for reading my works.

Best of luck to you all in the future.

 

 


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